


Men Of Mine

by thefanfichoex



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: 2Jae, Bnior, Bottom Park Jinyoung | Jr., Jinmark, M/M, Markjin, Mild Sexual Content, Yaoi, bnyoung - Freeform, jjp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefanfichoex/pseuds/thefanfichoex
Summary: Because Mark has too many options.Jaebum is stuck with that idea of “the one”.And Jinyoung can’t make up his damn mind.





	1. Foreword

Let’s get this straight.

Park Jinyoung is gay. Always have been, always will be. Sometimes he wonders if the fans know, since they seem to like pairing him up with anyone with a dick. Actually, it doesn’t help that he is in boy band.

GOT7, so appropriately named, is a rising K-Pop idol group with 7 members. Whenever the band has to do introduction, it goes like this. Jaebum is the leader, Mark is the “flying” member from LA, Jackson is, well, he’s the wild and sexy former Hong Kong fencing champion, Bam Bam is the Thai rapper, Youngjae is the main vocal, and Yugyeom is the maknae whose height towers over his hyungs.

Park Jinyoung can dance. He singlehandedly choreographed their Follow Me dance, mind you.

He can sing. His voice cracks sometimes but his mellow tone will just melt you.

He can rap. In fact, he debuted as a rapper in JJ Project with Jaebum, but now the AmeriThaiKong trio is in charge of rapping in GOT7.

He can act. He hasn’t landed any big roles yet but his acting is generally well-received. He has quite the charming face, good proportions, and an ass to kill for.

But people say he’s not the best in any of those things, so Jinyoung settles for being the “umma” of the group.

“Hello, I’m GOT7 umma, Junior”

Consider this, would a 20-something gay guy want to introduce himself like that? Jinyoung is cute and affectionate, but he’s not girly in any way. Ask Jinyoung’s junior. The “umma" is expected to take care of other members, which he gladly does because he loves them all so much, but he himself is the moodiest of the bunch, according to their leader Jaebum. Worst, being the designated “umma" of a boy group means you basically lost all sex appeals. Say goodbye to random hookups!

Park Jinyoung is the authority on being gay, but imagine the reactions if he introduces himself like this:

“Hello, I’m GOT7 gay member, Junior”

So, yeah, he will stick with “umma” for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this.
> 
> ENJOY!


	2. The Jerk and the Jackass

“Why the fuck did you do that? The fans were all looking at us, people may start questioning this group’s friendship again if you keep jabbing at Youngjae’s every word.” Jaebum yanked the blanket off Jinyoung, earning nothing but a grunt from the sulky boy.

“You know it hurt his feeling and I don’t want to see him sad, so get your head out of your ass and make sure not to do that again.” He added sternly and sat down on the mattress.

“It’s not like I did it for no reason. You two were being annoying.” The boy muttered under his breath while staring at the ceiling, still refusing to meet the Jaebum’s gaze, “cheesy fuckers.”

There was a look of exasperation on the leader’s face, but he remained silent, and soon the anger turned into something else when he saw that familiar glint in Jinyoung’s eyes.

“Wanna fuck?” The boy turned sideway to face Jaebum, hands already tugging on the string of his own sweatpants.

Jaebum has never been good at dealing with temptation.

 

 

 

 

They have been sleeping together since the JJ Project days. It started out as an experiment between two growing boys, actually, it was an experiment for Jaebum, Jinyoung have always been aware of his sexuality. Soon enough, they were constantly doing it to relieve the stress of idol life.

No strings attached.

That was what Jaebum said about their relationship, because apparently he was saving his love for a special someone who has yet to come into his life. Bunch of bullshit in Jinyoung’s opinion, but the guy was just his type so he went along with it and fell straight into love with Mr. No Strings Attached.

Classic Park Jinyoung.

Jaebum found that special someone when they got a notice from the company that the 2 members of JJ Project would train with 5 other boys to debut as GOT7. Jinyoung could still remember the stars in Jaebum’s eyes when he first saw Youngjae, who looked like an angel and turned out to be an actual angel. He felt a tinge of jealousy, but hating actually-an-angel Youngjae was scientifically impossible.

In fact, Jinyoung liked all the new trainees. He quickly warmed up to Jackson due to the HongKonger’s bright personality. Mark was a tough case at first, but they got close when Jinyoung appointed himself as his Korean teacher, and the two have developed a bit of an onscreen bromance that the fans love so much. BamBam and Yugyeom have become his sons so to speak, the mother in Jinyoung loved to spoil them rotten.

That was how Jinyoung became the umma of GOT7, and Jaebum the appa.

When Jaebum and Youngjae became an item, Jinyoung was ready to end their physical relationship. Although they didn’t say anything about the matter, he knew in his heart that it ended just like that, maybe because there was nothing between them in the first place. Seeing the happy couple was wrecking havoc with his system, but even if he felt like his heart was stabbed a million times, Jinyoung wouldn’t show it. He was the type of person who kept everything in, slowly accumulating his pains, and for a while, it worked.

Until Jaebum came knocking on his door one night and fucked him into the mattress.

“Trouble in paradise?” Jinyoung asked after they were done. He was still panting slightly, his throat dried from trying to hold in the moans, his mind all hazy, but the pain from down below let him know it definitely happened. It being Jaebum’s dick, just to clarify.

“Sorry” was all Jaebum said.

It turned out things were going too well, Youngjae was the perfect boyfriend, he was funny, affectionate, and insanely kind. He was actually-an-angel after all, and angel is to be cherished and protected. Jaebum didn’t want to taint him in any way, and Youngjae wasn’t ready for anything more than a cuddling session. Unlike Jinyoung, both Jaebum and Youngjae had girlfriends before. The angel wasn't ready to go full on rainbow.

Jinyoung, on the other hand, was already tainted. He, too, has never been good at dealing with temptation.

 

 

 

 

Unlike usual, Jaebum didn’t leave right away. The two laid together in silence, each lost in their own thought. There was still the problem of Jinyoung’s pathetic attempt to rein in his jealousy. More importantly, they didn’t know why they kept doing this. What the hell was this even.

“You shouldn’t hate him because of me.” Jaebum finally found the words.

The boy snorted. “I don’t hate him, you’re the jerk here.” 

“Then you’re a jackass.” The leader turned to Jinyoung and gently stroked his cheek. It was the most tender thing he had done to the boy lately, although Jaebum himself was unaware of how unfitting that action was.

“A jerk and a jackass, I guess that really makes us JJ Project.” This time, Jinyoung let out a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this.
> 
> ENJOY


	3. You’re A Series Of Headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. You would greatly enjoy reading this if you remove all real life stories we've known about GOT7 since their pre-debut days. For example, the fact that MarkJin are already close since before, yeah don't think about that here. This is a different universe ^^ Also, Mark may be a tiny bit OOC. Just a tiny bit.

Being attractive has its perks. Mark knew this the day he popped out of his mother and into the world. Some people went through an awkward phase then blossomed, other people stayed awkward their whole life. Mark though, he was this good-looking since birth, and life was easy.

He was one of those popular kids in high school, and while everyone around him was still figuring out what to do after graduation, Mark got casted by a JYPE staff while talking to his friends during lunch break at school. Piece of cake. Joining an entertainment agency in Korea meant he had to leave LA, break up with his girlfriend, and start training rigorously in singing, dancing, martial arts tricking (whatever the hell that was), not to mention the never-ending Korean lessons. That being said, compared to those who auditioned relentlessly yet never succeeded in getting into the company, Mark thought he had it easy. Being attractive has its perks.

Despite the initial doubts and hardships, Mark soon discovered that he actually liked doing this whole idol thing. He enjoyed being on stage, surrounded by the fans’ cheers. For the first time, he realized that putting in some extra effort could make his life even better than it already was. He just happened to be good at rapping, and he was the best among the trainees when it comes to throwing himself in the air. That was how Mark became the “flying” member of GOT7. Objectively speaking, Mark was one of the most popular members although he never say much during broadcast and he wasn’t assigned that many lines in their songs. He wasn’t just popular with the fans, Mark got his fair share of admirers from other idol groups as well, some girls would go as far as stopping him on the way to GOT7 waiting room to give him their numbers. He felt the need to thank his parents again for this face. He was Mark Tuan, and Mark Tuan wasn’t used to be anything but popular. 

The one aspect of Korean idol life that Mark had trouble with was the shipping. Although he had shied away from skinship at first, being from LA and all, Mark soon learned to play along with the other members, and they became such a close-knit group that the skinship and fanservice ceased to be unbearable. The first game of mouth-to-mouth paper passing was truly a horrifying experience for Mark, but just months later, he had no trouble giving Jinyoung a peck on the cheek during a variety show recording.

Park Jinyoung, who was always a tiny bit embarrassed of his name, who was sweet and adorable in a way Mark can’t really explain, who volunteered to help Mark learn Korean, who may be a little too into skinship, and whom Mark had been avoiding for the past 3 weeks.

Mark once thought that out of all the ships in GOT7, the one most likely to be real was JJ Project. After all, they had been together much longer and the two were basically joined at the hip. That was until Jaebum and Youngjae announced their relationship to the group. They were all open-minded people so it wasn’t a big deal at all. Mark remembered shrugging upon hearing the news, while Jackson and BamBam squealed like some hyper school girls. Yugyeom was extra giddy, having found a new opportunity to tease his hyungs.

In the midst of excitement, no one but Mark noticed Jinyoung slowly retreating to a corner of the room. He was looking out the window, a small smile grazed his lips. Jinyoung was the picture of serenity, so Mark didn’t understand why he suddenly had the urge to run over and hold on to him.

For a second, Jinyoung had seemed so small, Mark thought the boy standing by that window might just disappear right there, never to be seen again.

_Perhaps JJ Project was real._

It was a fleeting thought, and Mark paid no further mind to it. Getting too involved in other people’s business would only cause headache, and he sure as hell didn’t want to complicate his life. Mark Tuan got the girls, the fans, and definitely no headache. All was well.

 

 

 

 

Mark experienced his first headache on a Tuesday. 

It was a Tuesday like any Tuesday, all the members went to practice or work on individual schedule, except Jinyoung, who had a cold, and Jaebum, who took a day off to attend to some family business. The show Mark was supposed to host got cancelled due to an unexpected conflict of schedules with the guests, so he decided to go back to the dorm. Someone was playing loud music in the next apartment, but he was too tired to complain.

The door to Jaebum and Youngjae’s room was half open.

 There, Mark saw them.

Jaebum had Jinyoung against the wall. The younger boy wrapped his legs tightly around the leader’s waist, one of his hand grabbed a lock of Jaebum’s hair while the other kept tugging on the leader's shirt collar. He desperately tried to keep himself from falling while moving in sync with Jaebum’s thrusts.

Just as Mark was about to walk away, Jinyoung looked at him over Jaebum’s shoulder. His eyes were slightly red and wet, but those eyes pierced through Mark’s entire being with such fierceness he hadn’t thought possible of the gentle Park Jinyoung. Jaebum was so engrossed in the activity that he didn’t notice Mark’s presence, or that the boy he was fucking had let go of his hair. Jinyoung’s eyes never left Mark, and he raised a trembling finger to his lips, gesturing a wordless shh. 

Mark didn’t remember how he got away from the apartment, but he remembered the burning headache afterwards.

That night, Mark had a weird dream. In the dream, he was replacing Jaebum as the one pushing into Jinyoung. He felt everything, the pressure of Jinyoung’s clenching wall on his dick, the wetness of his mouth, even the light pain when Jinyoung pulled on his hair. All of a sudden, he felt someone watching them, and when he turned around, it was himself at the door, a disgusted look on his face.

Mark awoke to another headache.

 

 

 

 

After awkwardly avoiding both Jinyoung and Jaebum for 3 weeks, Mark was relieved to be back in LA for his first break since debut. Being surrounded by his loving family and familiar faces stopped him from thinking about Jinyoung during the day, but when night came, the boy haunted his dreams, and each time Mark woke up he was met with a throbbing headache. On the fourth night, he called his ex girlfriend over and they had sex every night after. Mark made sure to tell her that this was just out of convenience. Fortunately, she had no problem with casual sex. For a moment, Mark thought he could go back to being the trouble-free, headache-free, pre-all-of-this-group-members-fucking-each-other-bullshit Mark Tuan. Life was so much easier as Mark Tuan the LA fuckboy.

On his last night in LA, Mark called over his group of high school friends for a final party. The guys kept a pretty close tab on Mark’s life in Korea and started questioning him about the fanservice culture and all the questionable actions of his group members. They were particularly interested in how many times Mark and Jinyoung kissed each other for the fans. 

Because Jinyoung was apparently flaming, according to Mark’s friends.

The guys went on to making jokes about how they just knew the boy was a little bitch and he must have made a move on Mark already.

“I bet you could get him into bed.” One of them said with a nasty grin, and everyone else oohed in anticipation.

Mark had thought about that ever since he first dreamt of the boy. A part of Mark believed if he slept with Jinyoung once, he could finally get it out of his system. Jinyoung was just one of those people that Mark didn’t have wrapped around his fingers yet, and once he had the boy, the headache would surely have to go away.

And perhaps it was the alcohol, or his own frustration, or a combination of both that made Mark say yes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my comment for this chapter when I read this story myself:
> 
> "Jaebum is such an asss. Mark is also an asss. Damn. My Jinyoungiiieeeee TT  
> Huge trouble brewing  
> My beloved Jinyoungie. Who will be there to comfort him"


	4. Damn It All

“Hyung, can you help me with something?” The angel asked with a sheepish smile, left hand absentmindedly playing with the hem of his shirt. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, and Jinyoung could have sworn he saw Youngjae’s wings fluttering in the sunlight. 

He knew the signs: this had to do with Jaebum.

The couple would soon celebrate their first 100 days together, and being the perfect little boyfriend he was, Youngjae was determined to give Jaebum the best present he could think of. Naturally, he wanted the opinion of Jinyoung - his boyfriend’s best friend, the guy who understood Jaebum better than anyone, one half of JJ Project, etc.

Jinyoung’s first instinct was to tell Youngjae to just have sex with his boyfriend, but he held his tongue. If he was to give Youngjae a perfectly honest answer to the question “What does Jaebum like?”, the angel would have been scared out of his mind. A dirty, ugly part of himself was consumed with jealousy. Jinyoung imagined telling Youngjae that his boyfriend liked it when Jinyoung got down on all four to blow him, or when Jinyoung grabbed his hair during sex, and the one thing that made Jaebum lose it was getting his lips bitten as Jinyoung moaned into their kiss.

Pretty standard stuff, really.

Jinyoung was pulled out of his thoughts by an expectant “Hyung?”. Standing in front of him, Youngjae was still patiently waiting for a reply, his angel wings fluttered ever so slightly.

Jinyoung quickly put on his signature omma smile and proceeded to tell Youngjae about the watch that Jaebum had been eyeing.

“And you should make him breakfast in bed too. He likes pancakes.”

Park Jinyoung was proud of himself.

 

 

 

 

“So?” Jinyoung spoke from across the dining table. 

Mark looked up from his cereal bowl. This was the first off-screen interaction they had in weeks, and it left him at a loss, unsure of what to say.

“You have been staring at my ass a lot.” Jinyoung said matter-of-factly. There was hint of accusation, but the boy just had a blank look on his face.

Mark was eager to defend himself, although on second thought, claiming that he had been very stealthy with his staring didn’t seem to be a good argument.

“Let me guess, you’re wondering how a dick fit in there.” The boy continued despite Mark’s lack of response. “Well, my favorite way to explain it to people is just imagine you haven’t been able to take a dump for a few days, and now you’re about to drop something the size of an adult male pe-“

Mark  jumped out of his seat to place a hand over Jinyoung’s mouth, effectively stopping the boy from finishing his horrible explanation and ruining the bathroom experience for everyone. Jinyoung’s voice was always gentle and mellow, like honey, so hearing anything remotely crude coming out of that mouth was unexpected. Then again he hadn’t expected the boy fucking with their leader behind Youngjae’s back. Such a naughty boy.

“Why?” Mark uttered a single word. Why Jaebum? Why didn’t they stop when 2Jae got together? Why did this concern him so much? Why did Jinyoung have to fuck with his mind like this?  
  
There were so many things Mark wanted to ask. 

The boy looked at Mark with an unreadable expression and then told him about the one, the angel, and the fucking.

“Before GOT7, there were Jaebum and I. The two of us against the world, and I’m not saying that as an expression. We were just two ordinary boys chasing the same dream in a place full of strangers. Our parents didn’t have money to spare, so moving to Seoul was a big deal for us. Back then, we would spend all of our time practicing and working part-time to pay for living expenses. Whenever I messed up and had to stay back at practice, Jaebum would take my shift at the convenience store. Everyone knows he has a bit of a temper, but he never got mad at me. Even when I pushed other people away with my unreasonable moodiness, Jaebum stayed. When we finished our first performance as JJ Project, he looked at me from the other side of the stage, and only then did I feel that I finally made it. Everything felt real because I was with him, both my pain and my happiness. I’m not asking you to understand, but he’s my most important person. The thought of rejecting Jaebum is beyond me.”

“You’re staring again.” Jinyoung said.

“Sleep with me.” The words came out before Mark had the chance to stop himself. That sounded a lot better in his head.

The boy was startled but quickly regained his composure. “I don’t think we’re in the kind of relationship that entails sex.”

“Then I’m suggesting we become something.”

And in a heartbeat Mark found himself kissing those pink lips he had been staring at. He fought to suppress a grin, as what little resistance the boy showed at first had been replaced by passion. He still got it.

Mark felt another headache coming, but damn it all, Jinyoung tasted like heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this.
> 
> ENJOY


	5. EXTRA 1: Why Mark And Youngjae Bought A Dog Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Coco!

Mark might have been too confident about the whole getting-Jinyoung-into-bed thing. 2 days ago, just as the kiss was getting deeper, Jinyoung had abruptly pulled away and dashed out of the kitchen. It was the type of earth-shattering, mind-blowing, sex-inducing kiss, and Mark was left in an intense state of arousal that resulted in several cold showers throughout the rest of the day. After the kitchen incident, Jinyoung went back to avoiding Mark both on and off-screen, much to his disappointment.

Suddenly, things weren’t going too peachy for Mark Tuan. People usually just handed him things, so dealing with rejection was not Mark’s strong suit. He considered dropping the whole stupid bet, but deep down Mark knew this was never about the bet. He just really wanted to do it with Jinyoung once, for the sake of getting it out of his system and crossing off an item on the to-do list (pun intended), it was no different than, say, washing dishes or doing laundry. Just do it and be done with it. If Mark was 100 percent honest with himself, he would have known that, too, was a lie.

The source of his frustration was apparently having a pretty good time playing with a staff’s puppy, completely oblivious to Mark’s dilemma. The bundle of white fluffy fur wasn’t even that cute, but Jinyoung was cooing at her as if she was the coolest thing on earth, while Mark-fucking-Tuan was standing in all his glory just 3 feet away.

_What kind of nonsense._

Mark had half a mind to snatch the puppy away from the boy when he noticed Jinyoung had picked the little darling up and let her hang onto his shoulder, her tiny fluffy head buried in his neck. Jinyoung started talking to the puppy in his aegyo voice, which went straight to Mark’s loins, despite all logic. Mark realized he may have had his mouth dangling open longer than socially acceptable, and the staring wasn’t helping with his boner. Somewhere in his mind, the word “cute” popped up, and Mark turned away from the scene as an act of denial.

It turned out he wasn’t the only one staring. Mark snorted at the sight of Jaebum watching Jinyoung and the puppy from across the room. If Mark hadn’t known about Jaebum’s theory of “the one”, he would have thought that the look on the leader’s face was nothing short of pure adoration. The guy wasn’t even being subtle about it. Jinyoung was laughing even louder now that the puppy started licking his nose, and Mark decided he had gone completely mental.

 

 

 

 

The popular Mark Tuan had stooped to spending his only free afternoon of the month lazing around in his room. Mark considered calling that girl, the one who admittedly looked a lot like a certain boy, because he really needed to get laid and get Park Jinyoung out of his head. When he picked up the phone, Mark ended up searching for pet stores around the area instead.

“Um, I want a puppy, white, lots of fur, kind of like a marshmallow.” Mark was talking to the shop owner when he heard someone called his name. Youngjae waved excitedly at him, his arms holding a look-alike of the puppy from yesterday.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just looking for a puppy. You?”

“Me too! I saw Jaebum staring at Jiyeon nuna’s puppy so I asked and he said that particular puppy was cute. Because he has Nora, I thought he wouldn’t be interested in dogs. I’ve always wanted us to get a dog, but I think it will have to wait because I already spent a lot on his 100th day gift.” Youngjae said with a sigh.

“Yeah, I’m sure he was looking at the dog.” Mark muttered under his breath, feeling annoyed at the mention of the leader’s name.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Youngjae, who was busy looking at other pets on display, turned to Mark.

“Nothing.” The gears in Mark’s head started turning. “Listen, do you want to get that one together? We can split 50-50.”

 

 

 

 

That night, Mark and Youngjae came home with bags and bags of pet supplies and the newest addition to the GOT7 family - Coco. Nora couldn’t get along with Coco right away, so it was decided that Coco would stay in Mark and Jackson’s room for the mean time. The smile on Mark’s face couldn’t get any bigger when Jinyoung, completely enamored by Coco, refused to leave his room until it was past mid-night.

_What Mark Tuan wants, Mark Tuan gets._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this.
> 
> ENJOY


	6. Guilty Pleasure

If Jaebum had to describe a perfect relationship, his parents’ would be the first that came to mind. Even at the age of five, Jaebum was pretty sure he knew what true love was. He could see it in his mom and dad’s eyes when they looked at each other. Jaebum was the splitting image of his dad, and despite his tough exterior, he would never turn down an opportunity to listen to what he thought was the greatest love story of all time: how his parents met.

_You just know it. The first time you lay your eyes on her, your heart would start beating uncontrollably, and of course you try to tell it to calm down, but then she smiles at you and it is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, more beautiful than all the sunrises and sunsets you will have ever seen in your life combined. And when it happens you’re no longer bothered by the rapid beating of your heart, because you have decided. This is the one._

Jaebum knew his first girlfriend wasn’t the one. Although she was pretty and popular, his heart didn’t go pit-a-pat and he thought her smile was just average. 16-year-old Jaebum cared more about losing his virginity than finding his destined other half, and Jaebum was good enough a catch that his girlfriend didn’t complain about the lack of lovey-dovey actions between them. Still, as he grew up, Jaebum never forgot about the one, and he was certain that one day he would find that special person, just like his parents had found each other. Jaebum’s first relationship quickly came to an end when he successfully auditioned for JYPE and moved to Seoul halfway into his first year of high school.

There was one trainee who caught Jaebum’s eyes, the first reason being he tied with Jaebum in 1st place at the open audition, and second, after the boy introduced his name, laughter started echoing loud around the stage.

“JYP Open Audition, No. 29, Park. Jin. Young!”

Jaebum giggled a bit too, but as soon as the music hit, he found himself watching the stage intently. The boy was nowhere near his level, his movements weren’t as strong and precise — Jaebum was a B-boy after all — but something about the way he moved with the music and hit each beat, as if he was confident yet hesitant at the same time, made Jaebum unable to look away. When their names were called and both took to the stage, the boy flashed him a shy smile, and even though Jaebum wasn’t entirely okay with being tied for 1st place, he remembered thinking Park Jinyoung wasn’t half bad.

At first, Jaebum kept his distance and treated Jinyoung with caution because the boy seemed delicate, for lack of a better word. Soon, Jaebum realized how wrong he was when Jinyoung got into a fight with another trainee. That jerk was calling him names, and no one expected the quiet and gentle Park Jinyoung to be able to throw a mean punch. Still, Jinyoung was unlike any other friends Jaebum had back in Goyang — he had morning coffee and read actual books, he could give people a Korean history lecture on the spot, and his aegyo was actually palatable for a guy. Jinyoung sometimes would just stop talking altogether and it scared off the other trainees, but for some reason, Jaebum knew that the boy, whose mind was too intricate and heart too kind, felt more than normal people. It was Jinyoung’s way to deal with his overflowing emotions. Whenever Jinyoung fell into a period of silence, Jaebum would stick around like nothing was wrong, unaffected by the boy’s inquisitive stare or the other trainees’ gossip. Because Im Jaebum took pride in being a great friend.

When did they become friends, exactly?

Somewhere along the line, perhaps after 1500 ramyun bowls, 4000 hours of practice, and 350 hours of harsh evaluation, Jaebum and Jinyoung became friends. They came to the company on the same day, got assigned to the same group, and stayed in the same dorm room. Jinyoung was there every step of the way. On the day of JJ Project debut announcement, Jaebum allowed himself to be more emotional than usual and said to the boy —

“Park Jinyoung, you are a part of my youth. My brother and my partner-in-crime. From now on, it’s us against the world.” 

Imagine Jaebum’s surprise when he came to back to the dorm one day to find his brother and partner-in-crime kissing a dude. What followed was a series of awkwardness, starting with Jaebum staring down at what’s-his-face with bullet eyes until the guy was out of their apartment, and ending with Jaebum and Jinyoung sitting together in strained silence on the couch.

“So..” Jaebum opened his mouth with much difficulty. “You like wearing dresses or something?” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Jinyoung gave him a look that was half anger and half amusement.

“I’m sorry! I just, I’ve never..” Jaebum talked so fast he might have bitten his own tongue in the process. “I mean, I really just know one gay person in our neighborhood and he likes flashy clothes andheworesomethinglikeaskirtonce..” Jaebum’s voice got progressively smaller, his face burned with embarrassment.

The boy laughed out loud this time, he was laughing so hard to point of falling on the floor, his whole body shaking. Jaebum felt the shame deepened. It seemed like an eternity had passed when Jinyoung finally stopped laughing and got back on the couch. The boy inched closer and closer until his mouth was right at Jaebum’s ear.

“I like kissing boys.” Those words came out like a whisper, and next thing Jaebum knew, Jinyoung’s lips was pushing against his own. He felt the boy’s arms wrapping around his neck, drawing him closer, and suddenly he had a lap full of Park Jinyoung.

Jaebum wasn't drunk, but at that moment he felt lightheaded, like the first time he experienced the taste of alcohol. Jaebum wasn’t proud of it, but when he said goodbye to his friends to start training in Seoul, he and the guys snuck some of his dad’s liquor. At first sip, his brain took a while to register the foreign taste, and Jaebum felt a combination of anxiety, guilt, and excitement. His first kiss with Jinyoung reminded him of the burning sensation of alcohol down his throat. Along with the anxiety, the guilt, and the excitement. His heart was beating a little too fast, but Jaebum assumed he was just feeling guilty. Park Jinyoung wasn’t the one. That didn’t stop him from experimenting with the boy, and Jinyoung never said no to anything. Their bodies were so compatible, the sex he had with his ex-girlfriend seemed like child play in comparison.

 

Then came Youngjae.

One look at the new trainee and Jaebum’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. Youngjae was all smiles and sunshine and everything nice, just like an angel. When they were together, Jaebum could see a little of his mom and dad in Youngjae and himself. With Youngjae, he never felt like was dragged into something against his will, everything seemed to just fall into place. For the first time, his heart agreed with his brain, and it told him Youngjae was the one.

Precisely why Jaebum felt like the biggest jerk in the world when he continued his fling with Jinyoung. He wanted to blame it on the boy. People with addiction usually refused to put the blame on themselves — smokers blamed cigarettes, alcoholics blamed alcohol. Even without the sex, Jaebum was happy with Youngjae, he just couldn’t seem to let go of Jinyoung. He thought the boy would stop him, being the sane one, but Jinyoung never said no to anything, and the addiction continued. Along with the anxiety, the guilt, and the excitement.

Still, Youngjae was the one, Jaebum told that to himself everyday. Whatever he had with Jinyoung would have to end soon, because he had already found the one who made his heart beat uncontrollably.

Youngjae was his most important person.

 

So Jaebum had no idea why he didn't think twice before leaving Youngjae alone on the night of their 100th day to run around the city in search for Park Jinyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this.
> 
> ENJOY


	7. Gone Boy

It was one of those days when Jinyoung wished he didn’t have to wake up and talk to people. They were going to learn a new choreography routine for GOT7 comeback and Jinyoung wasn’t looking forward to the return of their martial arts tricking concept. It was something he had never been good at and secretly feared. Besides, as much as he hated to admit, knowing it was Jaebum and Youngjae’s 100th day didn’t help either. He smelled pancakes from the kitchen so the angel must have taken his advice.

 _Great_.

“Yes, Park Jinyoung, you suck at flipping and you’re also a home-wrecker. Your life is going nowhere and now you have to get out of bed at 5:30 in the morning.” 

It was one of those days when Jinyoung just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide in his room.

 

 

 

 

“COME ON, JINYOUNG! FOCUS!” The dance instructor yelled at him, hands clapping loudly in frustration.

Jinyoung must have landed on his face more than a hundred times during the last couple of hours. They had come straight to the practice room after waking up this morning and practiced non-stop for 8 hours, and so far everyone had finished learning their steps and successfully done the flip, except for him. Jinyoung had pushed away anyone who tried to help him up after falling, so the other boys couldn’t do anything but watched him from a distance with concerned eyes.

“You have to let me know what part you have a problem with so I can help you. I’m more disappointed that you choose to not communicate with me. If you keep doing this, you’re only wasting your time and my time.” The instructor told Jinyoung, who was lying on the floor, completely out of breath after his last failed flip. Jinyoung knew he was being a nuisance to the whole team, but he couldn’t bring himself to say a word. Instead, the boy got up on his feet and proceeded to throw himself into the air again with as much force as possible, only to mess up the landing once more.

“Okay Jinyoung, try to cool your head first then you can stay here and keep practicing. When I see you again in 2 days, I expect a better attitude and a perfect flip. You hear me? The rest of you are free to go now.” Jinyoung could hear the disappointment in their instructor’s voice.

With that he was finally left alone in the practice room, just like he had wanted.

 

 

 

——————————————————————————————————————————

 

 

 

Mark decided to drop by the company after finishing his afternoon schedule to check on Jinyoung since he figured the boy would still be practicing. Thanks to Coco, Jinyoung had started talking to him again, although the boy was determined to avoid any mention of the kitchen incident. He was quite worried about what happened earlier in the day, and Mark thought he could offer the boy some help with the acrobatics stunt and maybe take Jinyoung out for dinner to cheer him up. Mark honestly couldn’t remember the last time he put this much effort into courting someone.

Mark was disappointed to find an empty practice room. He quickly dialed Jinyoung’s number but the boy seemed to have turned off his phone. According to the guard, Jinyoung had left a few hours ago, alone. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach, but Mark quickly brushed it away. Perhaps he already went back to the dorm.

 

 

 

 

“Hyung, welcome back! How was work? Did you get noona’s signature for me?” Mark was surprised to find BamBam waiting outside for him in front of their apartment. The Thai boy recently had a celebrity crush and couldn’t contain his excitement when Mark attended the same show with his beloved noona.

“Yeah, here you go. Why are you out here anyway?” Mark handed over the signed CD he was able to get for BamBam.

“You spaced out again when we were talking, didn’t you? We promised to give Jaebum and Youngjae some privacy to celebrate their 100th day, remember? They have the living room and kitchen for the evening so I had to wait for you outside, but having this CD is totally worth it~” BamBam singsonged, holding the CD to his chest like it was his most treasured possession. “Okay, now follow my lead, we need to run to our rooms at lightning speed because I don’t want to go blind from seeing all the mushy stuff.”

“Wait, did Jinyoung come back?” Mark managed to ask before being dragged by an overly excited BamBam.

“No, I’m sure he’s still at the practice room. This morning was _really_ harsh. But come to think about it, manager hyung said he wasn’t able to call Jinyoung hyung earlier. Let’s get in first and ask the others.”

The sinking feeling in his stomach returned. Mark pushed past BamBam and ran inside to find Jaebum and Youngjae cooking dinner. The couple gave him a confused look, but Mark couldn’t care less and went straight to knocking on his and the maknae’s door to call Jackson and Yugyeom out.

“Did Jinyoung tell any of you where he went?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t he still practicing?” Jackson asked with a yawn, he was taking a much-needed nap when Mark dragged him out of bed.

“No, I came back to look for him but the guard said he left around 3:00 PM, that’s just an hour after we left, and now I cannot contact him. Bam said manager hyung tried calling him too so he couldn’t have any schedule that we didn’t know about.” 

“So he has been gone for more than 4 hours, so what? He’s not a child, I doubt he would do something stupid just because of one bad practice…” The Hongkonger had now given up on standing and settled for lying right on the floor, desperately wanting to continue his journey in dreamland.

“About that..” Yugyeom said with a hint of hesitant in his voice. “I heard Jinyoung hyung talking on the phone with his parents yesterday and he started acting really weird afterward, but he was in a mood so I didn’t dare to ask him. Do you think something might have happened?”

“I’m going out to find him. If he called any of you, let me know okay?” Mark said to his 5 members and took a quick glance at Jaebum, who hadn’t said a word still, before dashing out the door.

Just as Mark’s footsteps disappeared into the distance, Jaebum turned to look at Youngjae as if he wanted to say something but unable to open his mouth.

“We should go back to cooking. Mark hyung will find Jinyoung hyung.” Youngjae suddenly held on to his boyfriend’s shirt.

“Sorry, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And Jaebum was gone before Youngjae could say another word.

 

 

 

 

Youngjae was staring blankly at a table full of cold food when Mark returned to the dorm. Mark wished he could do something to break the uncomfortable silence in the room, but he was at a loss for words.

“He went out to look for Jinyoung hyung.” Youngjae said, not knowing why he chose to relay that information to Mark.

“You knew, didn’t you? About Jaebum and Jinyoung.” Mark had a moment of sudden realization.

“Knowing or not knowing. What difference does it make?” Youngjae slowly put out the candles and returned to his room.

Mark was left alone in the dark room with a throbbing headache.


	8. No More Lies

Jaebum had been running around without aim for 2 hours. He was certain he had checked all the places Jinyoung could possibly be, called all the people Jinyoung could have contacted, yet there was no trace of the boy. As darkness claimed the city along with its streets, Jaebum felt a rush of profound desperation. The usually clean and pleasant scent of pine trees started thickening to the point of suppressing all his other senses, and it was then that Jaebum realized he had been a complete and utter idiot.

 

 

 

 

“You could have at least called.” Jaebum sat down next to the boy, who was sitting on a park bench and starring into the distance. He didn’t seem to be crying. Jinyoung rarely shed tears anyway, the first and probably the only time Jaebum saw him cry was backstage after JJ Project’s debut performance.

It took Jinyoung a while to react, as if Jaebum’s voice had pulled him out of a trance and he needed time to adjust to having full control of his body again.

“How do you know I’m here? Why are you here?” The boy asked Jaebum, wide-eyed.

“The park behind the convenience store where we used to worked has a hill full of pine trees. You once told me it reminded you of Jinhae because your hometown is completely surrounded by mountains covered with pine trees. And I don’t want to answer your second question because I might get angry and choke you to death.”

 _No, the truth is I’m worried about you and I ran here without thinking of the consequences._ But Jaebum would be damned before he told the boy his true thoughts.

“I hate that you know these things about me.” Jinyoung let out a sigh. “So unfair.”

“Is something wrong? Gyeom said your parents called yesterday.”

“It’s not something, it’s everything.” The boy turned away from Jaebum and gazed at his own lap instead. “Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life. Dad said recently my mom’s health is not good, and to think I haven’t been home for her last 2 birthdays because we’re always busy during that time of the year. What’s the point of spending a few days every 4 or 5 months at home when I cannot take care of my parents anyway? Yet they’re the ones who always worry about my health, always asking me if I eat well and if I have enough sleep.”

The boy continued, his voice getting more strained with each words. “Ever since the group debuted, I thought I’ve been working my absolute best and I’m thankful that we have many fans all over the world who love us, but we still haven’t won a music show in Korea yet. I’m tired of asking my parents to wait, I’m disappointed in myself because I haven’t been able to buy them nice things. Did I expect too much? Haven’t I tried hard enough? The future is so uncertain, sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing this right.”

“Hyung, do you remember the time we were trainees? Although we survived solely on ramyun for months and my body went sore from always practicing late into the nights, I was happy. I love singing and dancing, so much, but lately it feels like I’m just going through the motions. When I look in the mirror, I want to see the kid who took the train to Seoul and auditioned without his parents’ permission, but I don’t see him anymore. This morning was just the tip of the iceberg.”

“And you know what’s the worst? Us. You and I. What are we doing? We should stop, I can’t be your dirty little secret anymore. I’ve lost sight of what’s important for so long, it’s time to focus.”

Jinyoung looked at him, and Jaebum couldn’t believe he had never noticed how bright those eyes were.

“So, agree with me. No more lies, for the good of this group. That kid I told you about, I need to find him again.”

Jaebum felt a lump in his throat. The boy suddenly put his legs up and turned so he was sitting on the bench with both arms hugging his knees, facing Jaebum.

“Sometimes I feel sorry for making a move on you, but I let you be my first and you were so clumsy it fucking hurt, so I say we're even.” Jinyoung gave him a teasing smile.

And before Jaebum could reply, the boy said something that almost made his heart stop.

“Hyung, I love you.”

“What’s with that stupid face? Do you think I keep sleeping with you because I’m just horny and you’re the only guy on earth? A lot of people hit on me.” He added, smacking Jaebum on the head. 

Jaebum felt his facial muscles relaxed and he let out a small laugh. “Yeah, before you scared everyone off with your mood episodes, I knew you were popular with the male trainees. They always came over and asked for you, I even thought that my people skills weren’t good because no one wanted to hang out with me.” Jaebum gave into temptation and gently reached for the mob of hair he had been eyeing. Jinyoung’s hair was soft.

“Tell me what you thought of me when we first met. I know I can’t compete with the way Youngjae made your heart raced, but I want to know.”

“I don’t know. You’re different, I’ve never met anyone like you. I wanted to be your friend, that I knew for sure. And I thought you were cute, but that was before I saw you kissing, no, sucking on that guy’s face. My cute dongsaeng was no more.” Jaebum flicked the boy’s forehead and laughed when he saw Jinyoung scrunched his face in childish indignation. “What about you? You didn’t fall in love with me from the start, did you?” He teased the boy but then realized he might have said something inappropriate.

“Puh-lease, I thought your smile was way too goofy and you had grandpa’s taste! You have embarrassed me countless times with your corny jokes!” Jinyoung raised his voice. “So no, I didn’t fall in love with you right away. Us mortals don’t have the Im family’s ability to tell the one apart at first sight. I just woke up one day and realized I fell for your stupid ass face.” Even though the boy was grinning, Jaebum could see the sadness in his eyes. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to pull the Jinyoung in an embrace, but he was frozen on the spot.

And so the two sat silently, side by side, looking over the city. In the movement of the wind and the faint smell of pine leaves, Jaebum felt lightheaded again, and his mind wandered to the first time they kissed.

_**You just know it.** _

The sun was rising from the eastern horizon. It was a new day.

“I can’t believe we sat here the whole night.” Jinyoung yawned and stretched his body like a little kitten.

**_The first time you lay your eyes on him, your heart would start beating uncontrollably, and of course you try to tell it to calm down…_ **

**_Thump, thump, thump._** Jaebum clutched at his left chest.

“At least this view is worth it, right?” The boy smiled at him, his face glowing in the soft morning sunlight.

**_… but then he smiles at you and it is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, more beautiful than all the sunrises and sunsets you will have ever seen in your life combined._ **

**_Thum, thump, thump._** Jaebum thought he had lost his damn mind.

_**And when it happens you’re no longer bother by the rapid beating of your heart, because you have decided.** _

“Thank you for being here with me, but it’s time you take those calls and explain everything to him. No more lies, remember?”

Jaebum glanced at his cellphone. There were 12 missed calls from Youngjae.

_**This is the one.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My comment for this chapter when I read this the first time:
> 
> "That was the right decision Jinyoungie. And even if it came in late I am proud that it came from you.  
> And JB, you suck.  
> Late  
> Late  
> Late  
> Go back to Youngjae. Bye."
> 
> Hahahaha I am so sorry. I was crying in this chapter. I was so hurt for my Jinyoungie LOL and for Youngjae too. Jaebum was not making up his mind. But okay... 1) I love his character. It is so... I dunno... realistic? As a mere human being, it would really be difficult to choose between two things important to you. I understand the difficulty of embracing one fully, while letting go of the other. Sucks. 2) I love Jaebum in real life okay?! HAHAHA. It's just in this story, he has hurt JY way too much. And I am such an invested reader, LOL. It's just how I am haha!


	9. EXTRA 2: Youngjae's Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Youngjae feel about everything?

Date: X/X/XXXX

Hyung, if you can read this, you would probably think I’m pathetic. Rather than saying this to you, I choose to confide in my diary. I guess I’m childish like that, and I have no guts. After all, what kind of person stays silent when his boyfriend is sleeping with one of his friends?

But hyung, I’m scared.

It’s the way you look at him sometimes, when you think other people aren’t watching. In your eyes, I see both love and hate, hope and despair, certainty and doubt. Why is this that only him can evoke those emotions in you, while there is only gentleness in your eyes when you look at me?

I hate how much you know about him, and him about you. You two leave a space so small, other people can’t get between. If this was a race, I would lose even before I start running. I don’t know how I can make up for all those years he was there before me, I honestly don’t know.

I was fine before I fell in love with you. Now, I can’t even bring myself to tell you that I know everything, because when the time comes for you to choose one of us, I’m not confident that you’ll choose me. I don’t want you to find out that your love for me is just a pretty illusion you created for yourself.

I love you, dearly, but I don’t know much longer I can be your angel.

 

 

Date: X/X/XXXX

I thought it was game over for me when you ran out to find him that night. Alone in my room, the image of you two coming back to the dorm in the morning together, hand in hand, kept replaying in my mind. I was prepared for all that, but never in a million years did I expect you to show up alone and come clean with me about everything.

Do you remember the words you kept repeating?

“Please don’t hate Jinyoung, it’s all my fault.”

I knew then that you realized your true feelings. You weren’t asking for my forgiveness, you just wanted to protect him. Hyung, I love you, but it’s really annoying. So I forgave you, before you could say the words I was dreading.

“It’s okay, hyung, I forgive you. Thank you for telling me so we can start again. I love you.”

I really looked like an angel at that moment, did I?

It hurts, but I’m not ready to give up on you.

 

Date: X/X/XXXX

Hyung, I did something bad today. It felt weirdly good.

Jinyoung hyung was so surprised when I knocked on his door. I let him know that you had told me everything, and that I forgave him too. He looked so relieved when he pulled me into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry Youngjae, I was selfish and I hurt you. Will you forgive your bad hyung?”

He apologized over and over again, while I patted his back reassuringly. I could tell he was sincere, I never hated him anyway.

 _This is good, everything can go back to normal now._ I remembered saying that to myself.

“You know Jaebum, he can be really dumb sometimes. You have always been the one for him, he’s just confused. I’m sorry, Youngjae, I should have put a stop to this a long time ago.” He told me as we let go of the hug.

Funny how I think I should be the one saying that.

There was something burning inside of me. Something strange and ugly.

“It’s all in the past, Jaebum hyung and I are even better than before. I finally trust him enough to give myself to him. We kissed and made up, if you know what I mean.”

The lie just came right out of me. 

Hyung, Jinyoung hyung said he’s really happy for us.

The game you two have been playing for so long, at last I’m in it too. 

From now on, I will become stronger, because I really love you.

 


	10. Tiny Dancer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date? A new beginning?

Peace, no matter how fragile, has returned to the GOT7 residence. After missing for a day, Jinyoung came back with an air of tranquility around him and apologized to everyone for making them worried.

“I’m going to try my best to become a person that GOT7 and our AhGaSe are proud of.” Jinyoung said to his members, a look of determination on his face.

He didn’t know those words would soon come back to bite him in ass.

 

 

 

 

“Your hand is on my butt.” Jinyoung said with a frown on his face.

“You’re being very difficult, Jinyoung, especially when someone is taking the time to help you.” Mark was committed to his “no shame” policy.

“I don’t see how this will help me do a backflip.” The boy huffed, slapping away Mark’s wandering hand.

“I’m adjusting your form, it’s very important to be in the correct position. Now try jumping as high as you can, so you get the feel of what’s going to happen when you’re in the air. ” Mark gave him another pat on the butt and proceeded to move further from the boy while giving him directions.

Jinyoung jumped obediently. This part wasn’t so hard.

“You know the drill, keep your eyes focused on me, okay, now bend your knees, arms in position. Good!” Mark gave him two thumbs up. “And remember, the point of a backflip is not to jump back but to rotate yourself when you’re high up in the air. So, which direction do you want to jump?”

“UP!” Jinyoung yelled his answer as he threw himself up, only to fall like a stone not 1 second later.

“I’m a such failure.” The boy said while curling himself up in a ball, not even wanting to stand up. “I should get a new career as a mop, since I’m always with Mr. Floor anyway.” _Stupid backflip_.

“Nonsense, I believe you can do it, the problem is you think too much.” Mark helped him up while trying to stifle a laugh. _So cute_. The boy had this weird sense of humor that only worked for him. One time, during a fan meeting, Jinyoung started talking to a cake, and another time, he actually said “Excuse me” to an automatic door, but Mark digressed. “In all seriousness, you can’t always be in control of everything. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to do everything perfectly without fault. This is how you do a flip: you just do it!”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re Mark Tuan, our “flying” member, while I’m doomed to forever be on the ground.” The boy threw his hands in the air, seeming to have completely given up.

“Hmmm, we’ll see about that.” Mark grinned.

 

 

 

 

“It’s beyond me how you managed to borrow this car from manager hyung and he’s not even going with us. Are you sure you can drive?” Jinyoung was very nervous getting into the car.

“First, I’m Mark Tuan, I just _get_ things. Second, I’m Mark Tuan, of course I can drive.”

“Do you even know where you’re going? This is not LA.”

“GPS, duh. Now look the other way, you’re not allowed to see our destination.” Mark shooed the boy as he typed in the address.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Jinyoung said to himself. Whatever got the usually nonchalant Mark Tuan this excited couldn’t be good.

“Hey, it wouldn’t kill you to trust me for one day.” He winked at the boy.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung awoke to find Mark’s face less than an inch away from his. He unconsciously leaned back in his seat, hands clutching nervously at the safety belt. Mark’s gaze was so intense, Jinyoung felt his face heating up by the second.

“I was wondering when you would wake up. What kind of person falls asleep as soon as he gets in a car? I was really lonely driving all the way here.” Mark poked Jinyoung’s cheek teasingly.

The boy awkwardly turned away, and then he saw something horrifying. Overlooking the lake, a huge tower boasted the sign “Youldong Park - Bungee Jump 45m”. 

“Oh my god, is that a, oh my god, no, no, no, hyung, no, you did not just take me to a bungee jumping site.” The boy started stammering, his face white as a sheet.

“I just did, and you’ll like it! Come on, hurry now, we still need to go back and practice.” Mark grabbed Jinyoung’s hand, eager to drag him out.

“No! You can’t make me leave this car!!” Jinyoung activated his defense position, desperately holding on to the car seat.

“If you don't come out right now, I'll kiss you.” His voice was half joking and half serious.

Jinyoung avoided Mark’s eyes with resentment.

“Okay, so I take it you want me to kiss you.” Mark slowly leaned over, the corners of his mouth unconsciously turned up.

“Screw you, Mark.” Jinyoung quickly opened the door and got our before his perverted companion could reach him.

“Tsk, tsk. That’s Mark hyung for you.” Mark clicked his tongue at the boy, still unaware that he was cracking a full smile.

 

 

 

 

Even after he had climbed all the way to the top of the tower, put on protective padding, and attached himself to the bungee cord, Jinyoung was still spouting insults at Mark.

“You’re fucking crazy, Mark Tuan, I will fucking kill you for making me do this.”

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too.” Mark-fucking-Tuan just nodded to whatever Jinyoung said.

“Okay, you’re ready to go boy?” The bungee instructor chuckled, he had seen this sight too many times to count.

“No, please wait, ajusshi, I’m not ready.” The boy pleaded with almost teary eyes that screamed “I don’t want to die.”

“Just let go and jump, Jinyoung!” Mark shouted.

Jinyoung was still frozen on the spot, his hands turned white from grabbing the cord too hard.

“Hey, look at me.” Mark’s voice turned soft. “I believe you can do it.” He gave the tense boy a nod of encouragement.

Jinyoung closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down by repeating what Mark said to him back at the practice room.

_The problem is you think too much._

_You can’t always be in control of everything._

_Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to do everything perfectly without fault._

Jinyoung recalled the time he bought his train ticket to Seoul without telling his parents. What was he even thinking, doing something so impulsive? Since Jinyoung became an idol, it has always been about keeping himself in check, playing by the rules, and not making any mistakes.

Perhaps the point was to _NOT_ think at all.

“Jinyoung! Remember, which direction do you want to jump?” The boy could hear Mark’s voice in the back.

“UP!”

And Jinyoung threw himself up in the air.

Completely _free._

Surprisingly, the fear left him as soon as he let go.

He even did a tumble.

“It feels good to be in the air, isn’t it?” Mark said through the hand speaker he borrowed from the instructor ajusshi.

“I still hate you!” Jinyoung yelled as he was getting unhooked from the bungee cord. “But yeah, it wasn’t too bad.” This, he admitted to himself in a tiny voice.

“This is nothing, when we go to LA, I’ll take you sky diving.” Mark said as they walked to the nearby park.

“I’m getting nauseous just listening to you.” Jinyoung was still pretending to be mad and failing miserably at it.

The two settle down on a park picnic table. Jinyoung loved being in green spaces, and he was glad to be able to sit down and relieve some of the earlier adrenaline rush.

“Hyung, thank you for today. I really appreciate it.” The boy smiled warmly, taking Mark’s hand into his own for a few seconds before letting go.

If Mark felt electricity run through where their hands touched, he didn’t say a word about it.

“You know, Jinyoung, when I first came to Korea and saw you dance, I thought you were really good. I didn’t know anything about singing or dancing then, so seeing you dance with all your heart really inspired me. I’m just returning the favor.”

“To be honest, since GOT7 debuted, I feel like I need to run as fast as I can and do as much as possible. It’s like I didn’t even stop to think for one second and just keep pushing myself. The thing with Jaebum, we’ve decided to stop. I want to take things slow now and just let myself breath. It feels good to start on a clean slate again.” Jinyoung let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

“Dance with me.” Mark blurted out.

“What? Here?” The boy was definitely taken aback by his bold request.

“Why not? There’s no one around.” Mark played something on his phone and put it on the table.

“The melody is so pretty.” Jinyoung marveled at the piano intro that had just started playing.

“Yeah, pretty much everyone in LA knows this song.” Mark took a step back to admire the wide-eyed boy. The sun was setting, and he couldn’t help but think Jinyoung looked absolutely breathtaking in the glimmering light.

“I didn’t think my English is this bad but I can’t understand the lyrics at all. What is he singing about?”

“Don’t worry, a lot of Americans have a hard time figuring out his lyrics as well. The song is called _Tiny D_ _ancer_ _._ ” 

“That’s a weird name, why are we dancing to this?”

“Because you’re my tiny dancer.” Mark said with beaming eyes.

“I'm not tiny, I'm taller than you.” The boy objected.

“Yeah, by like an inch. We should compare dicks, that's more practical. And I’m going to win.”

Mark felt like the main character in an old Hollywood movie when he started singing along passionately to the music and slowly approaching Jinyoung. It was kind of embarrassing, but somehow he felt the moment was right.

_"But oh how it feels so real_

_Lying here with no one near_

_Only you and you can hear me_

_When I say softly, slowly”_

“Oh my, Mark Tuan, are you singing?” Jinyoung had an amused look on his face.

“Just shut up and take my hand.” Without warning, Mark closed the distance between them and put a hand on the boy’s waist, guiding him in a slow dance. 

_Hold me closer tiny dancer_

_Count the headlights on the highway_

_Lay me down in sheets of linen_

_You had a busy day today_

“Your hand is on my butt again.”

“You're ruining the moment.”

“Okay, you can keep your hand there, but no groping.” 

“I get to grope you once every 60 seconds?”

“That is non-negotiable.”

“Fine, no groping it is.”

_Hold me closer tiny dancer_

_Count the headlights on the highway_

_Lay me down in sheets of linen_

_You had a busy day today_

“You’ve worked hard today, Jinyoung. You’re going to nail that flip when we get back.” Mark whispered in the boy’s ears.

He wanted to keep up the Hollywood spirit and kiss the boy but part of him didn’t want to risk being avoided by Jinyoung again. Why couldn’t he be like all the girls who willingly throw themselves at Mark? That would have been way easier. 

Just as Mark was battling with his desire, Jinyoung gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning away.

“Because I’m in a good mood today.” The boy muttered, red to his ears.

It was no Hollywood kiss, but Mark couldn’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my comment right after reading this chapter:
> 
> "Oh my gawwwwwshhhhhh
> 
> Sweet first date  
> No really it's already a date by my books lol
> 
> But. Wow.  
> Stop being an assss Markeu!  
> And damn. I feel like....  
> This is becoming too good to be true  
> And the bet thing is just around the corner  
> Damn."
> 
> It was a fluffy chapter but I cannot help but worry for JY. Huhu.


	11. 썸...

After the trip to Youldong Park, Jinyoung dived straight back into practicing with Mark’s help. The flip he previously struggled with didn’t seem as intimidating now that he had jumped from a 45m tower. It was Jinyoung who suggested they grab a celebratory drink together, and Mark was in no position to deny the boy a little fun after he had worked so hard and actually managed to do some really neat flips. For someone who enjoyed the idea of drinking, Jinyoung had surprisingly low alcohol tolerance, which led to Mark half piggybacking half dragging the boy back to their dorm. By the time they came back, the other members had all gone to sleep.

In the dark and quiet living room, Mark _felt_ Jinyoung more than ever. Everything about the boy — the suppleness of his skin, the warmth of his breath, the sound of his inebriated giggles, his simply beautiful presence — drove Mark crazy. Even as a drunken mess, Jinyoung was somehow endearing. _Damn Park Jinyoung and his Jinyoung-ness._ It probably took him a full 10 minutes to reach the couch and another 5 minutes to plop the boy down on the soft surface. Mark underestimated the clinging power of a drunk Jinyoung and was pulled down along with the boy. The sudden weight on his body must have startled Jinyoung a little, his eyes twinkled as he tried to make out Mark’s face in the darkness. More staring ensued. There was no clear sign who started it, but lips met lips in an instance, gently at first, then ardently. How they went from an innocent peck in the park to full-on passionate tongue action in their living room, Jinyoung had no idea. Was it the thrill of finally conquering the backflip, or had the few drinks they shared stripped him of all inhibitions? Whatever it was, Jinyoung decided he didn’t hate the feel of Mark’s lips on his own.

“Your room. Now.” Mark said between kisses, almost out of breath. He was painfully hard, and continuing to make out on the living room couch didn’t seem like a good idea. The two moved in tiny steps to avoid waking Yugyeom and BamBam in the adjoining room, their lips never once parted. Once locked inside the haven that was Jinyoung’s room, Mark was free to pin the boy down on the mattress and carefully taste him. Just kissing and touching could no longer satisfy his craving for Jinyoung.

How Mark wished he could swallow this boy in one bite.

Jinyoung was just as into the kiss until he felt a hand on his waist, discreetly trying to pull down his pants. The boy chuckled, how did this dum-dum even expect to strip him without unzipping his pants? Jinyoung was whispering teasingly into Mark’s ear, “This babo hyung” when realization smacked him on the head.

“No, we can’t do this! I can’t jump into another physical relationship with one of my members again.” Jinyoung said, pushing Mark away. “ And you’re not even gay.” He added while trying to get out of Mark’s embrace. The effect of alcohol had worn off, so had his arousal, and Jinyoung wanted nothing more than to rest his tired body and mind. 

“You had sex with Jaebum and he wasn’t gay then. Come on, get back here.” Mark actually whined. Things were going so well for once. 

“And look at what happened to us, I can’t do no-strings-attached again.”  Jinyoung sighed, remembering the mess he and Jaebum created. It was too painful for everyone involved. “I don’t even know if I like you in that way.”

“So let’s get to know each other. Starting with our bodies.” The older boy smirked and pushed Jinyoung down again. Mark looked at the boy with stubborn eyes, as if telling Jinyoung there’d be no stopping him now, and he made good on that silent promise by kissing the boy again, lips tracing Jinyoung’s pretty mouth down to his pale neck.

“Since when did you get this desperate, hyung?” The boy asked, a hint of weariness in his voice.

“Park Jinyoung, you can’t expect a guy in battle position to just back down, it’s cruel and unusual punishment.” Mark said, planting small kisses on the boy’s collarbone. “You’re a guy, you know how impossible it is to control our urges.”

Mark half expected a smartass remark from Jinyoung, but there was no response except for the sound of his steady breathing. Jinyoung was already sleeping soundly, eyes tightly shut. Park Jinyoung actually had the nerve to fall asleep when Mark-fucking-Tuan was going down on him. Ever since he met this boy, Mark was constantly thrown into situations he had never encountered in before. It was like his world didn’t make sense anymore. The worst thing was he couldn’t even get mad looking at that innocent face. Mark tried to will his boner down by imagining Jaebum in a skimpy bikini. That worked tremendously.

“You have no idea what you put me through.” Mark groaned, leaning down to kiss the boy’s forehead. He should probably get back to his room before the others wake up.

Jinyoung let out a small mewl while snuggling closer to the source of warmth, and Mark decided perhaps it wouldn’t so bad to stay.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung felt like throwing up any second. He was going to perform the backflip in front of their instructor, and despite having practiced so many times, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t screw up today. Mark, having noticed his nervousness, dragged Jinyoung into an empty room nearby to give him another pep talk and a quick good-luck kiss. The boy was thankful Mark didn’t mentioned yesterday’s  incident, as his face was still burning just thinking about having possibly initiated sex and then falling asleep during sex.

“Okay, I guess this is it. ” Jinyoung said to himself. The boy turned to Mark before getting in position for the flip, a habit he had acquired during the last 2 days. Mark mouthed the words “I believe you can do it” and gave him an encouraging smile.

What happened next was a blur, and when Jinyoung regained his consciousness, he had already landed safely on his feet. As the instructor gave him a pat on the back for a job well done, Jinyoung let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The guys were cheering for him, and Jinyoung broke into a contented smile, wrinkled eyes and all.

“Told you.” Mark came closer and whispered to the boy. For a moment, Jinyoung wished he could wipe that cheeky grin off his hyung’s face, but to be perfectly honest, this childish side of Mark was cute.

Out of the blue, Jinyoung felt a quick peck on his cheek.

“It’s revenge, you know, revenge.” Mark was grinning even wider.

“Hyung, there are people here.” The boy looked at Mark in disbelief, the place where he was kissed started heating up, and soon Jinyoung was red to his ears. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t kissed before, but after last night, everything was somehow different.

“Well, I remember a certain individual who fell asleep and left me frustrat- ”

“Okay, fine, just lower your voice before everyone in the building knows.” Jinyoung shushed him, looking around frantically to see if anyone was watching them.

“Aw, you worry too much, it’s adorable.” Mark pinched Jinyoung’s cheek and laughed at the pouting boy. “Anyway, I guess it’s time to tell you.” He added.

“Tell me what?” The boy was skeptical. The last time Mark was this excited, he made Jinyoung jump from a 45m tower.

“Guys?” Mark gestured the other members over.

“Jinyoung, I was talking to our PD-nim about the new season of Real GOT7 the other day.” Jaebum said. “And all of us agreed that Jinhae would be a good location to film an episode.” The others nodded excitedly as their leader was talking.

“We’ll start filming the new season after going to LA for KCON next week!” BamBam and Jackson made a ta-da pose, completed with jazz hands like the two adorable idiots they were.

“Wait, are you saying..?” Jinyoung couldn’t believe his ears.

“YES! You can go home for your mom’s birthday!” They said in unison.

“After Jaebum hyung told us, I thought it was a good solution.” Youngjae smiled at the still dumfounded boy.

“Hyung, we’re a team. If there’s something bothering you, don’t keep it to yourself.” Yugyeom’s gentle reproach made him tear up, and he held on to the giant maknae to hide his teary face.

Jinyoung loved his members, he really, really loved them.

“Okay, enough with the sentimental tear fest, I’m gonna borrow this crybaby here for a moment.” Mark was feeling strangely agitated at the sight of Jinyoung hugging Yugyeom and decided to swoop the boy away and out the door before anyone, including Jinyoung, could protest.

“You all notice it right?” BamBam said what was on everyone’s mind after Mark and Jinyoung were gone.

“Yup, something is definitely going on. Mark is not usually like that.” Jackson concurred.

“I saw him sneaking out of Jinyoung hyung’s room this morning.” Yugyeom informed them.

“For real?” The Thai boy almost dropped his jaw on the floor.

“Yugyeom, you really know everything.” Youngjae said in awe.

“I always pretend to sleep, FYI. And don’t tell me you didn’t see them flirting earlier.” The maknae said dryly with a raised eyebrow.

“Are they, like, dating?” Youngjae asked timidly, taking a quick glance at his boyfriend.

“Beats me.” Yugyeom shrugged.


	12. Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally the lovely feels chapter before the angst chapter.

Park Jinyoung was having a blast. His seat was comfy, the popcorn was good, and they were the only ones in the theater so he could ramble on and on about the movie without pissing people off. Although, he was confused as to why more people didn’t show up for this interesting and action-packed movie.

“Look, hyung! That’s a turtle ship, pretty awesome isn’t it?” Jinyoung pointed excitedly at the screen while nudging Mark with his elbow.

“I’ve read about this. Ahh, really, as expected of our cool Admiral Yi, he decided to lure the Japanese fleet to Myeongnyang because the strong currents would restrict their movements while his turtle ships could go in one by one. So cool~” The boy leaned closer and started explaining the scene with exaggerated gestures, a fascinated expression on his face.

Mark could only sigh. When he dragged Jinyoung out of the practice room, he had a totally different idea of how their day would pan out. Mark recalled the events leading up to his current predicament and began to question his life choices. His first mistake was announcing to Jinyoung that they would do whatever the boy want until their evening schedule because “it’s Jinyoung’s Happy Day”. Mark was secretly pleased when Jinyoung said he wanted to watch a movie. They couldn’t afford to parade around Seoul and risk being caught by fans, besides, movie date was a classic first date that rarely went wrong. When the mood was right, Mark figured he could take advantage of the dark room to lean in and kiss the boy, maybe he could even get away with a little hand action. His second mistake was giving in to Jinyoung’s demand to watch a historical movie instead of some rom-com or Hollywood blockbusters. Mark, like any normal human being, couldn’t say no to Jinyoung’s aegyo and thus was in for 2 and a half hour of _Admiral Yi Soon-Shin and the Battle of Myeongnyang_. The LA heartthrob was still keen on finding the perfect moment for a kiss, but Admiral Yi and his men were making it extremely difficult for him with their cannon blasting and strategy planning, most of which he didn’t understand anyway. Mark knitted his brows in contemplation, perhaps he could try kissing Jinyoung when the Korean Navy won the Battle of Myeongnyang.

Something else caught Mark’s attention. Jinyoung was still engrossed in the movie, offering his commentaries here and there. It had been a while since Mark last saw the boy having this much fun, and despite his own lack of appreciation for the movie, he was glad to be there and witness the moment. Their relationship had changed so much during the past 2 months, Mark wondered how different things would have been had he not discovered Jinyoung and Jaebum’s secret. Ever since Mark got himself tangled in this mess, he had gotten more headaches and unknown emotions than the last 22 years of his life combined. The Mark who used to worry about nothing and never have any headache, that guy was living a much easier life.

The strange thing was, Mark didn’t envy that guy.

Headache-free Mark would never know how beautiful and funny Jinyoung could be, he would never have the chance to dance with the boy at sunset, he would never get to share Jinyoung’s worries and joy, and he would never know the softness of Jinyoung’s lips or the feeling of complete contentment when the boy finally kissed him back.

“Hey, sorry for making you watch this. I know it’s a bit difficult to understand so I try my best to explain to you, but I don’t think I’m doing a good job.” Jinyoung said in an embarrassed voice.

“Silly, as long as you’re having a good time, so am I.” Mark lightly knocked on the boy’s head. “You worry too much again.”

“Hyung, I’ve come to realize that you’re actually really dependable.” Jinyoung was trying to act casual, but the blush forming on his face told a different story.

“So start depending on me more.” Mark took the boy’s hand into his own and couldn’t contain a smile when Jinyoung didn’t resist. He got his perfect moment after all.

Despite his life being pretty unpredictable lately, Mark was sure of one thing. There was no place he would rather be than that empty theater, and nothing he would rather do than half watching a movie he didn’t like with Jinyoung by his side.

 

 

 

 

Jaebum came back to find Jinyoung sleeping in the living room. The boy must have been too tired to go back to his room and opted for the couch instead. They were alone in the dorm and Jinyoung was only a few footsteps away, but Jaebum couldn’t bring himself to come closer. He stood there in silence, watching the boy sleep.

They hadn’t talked much since that night. Their busy schedule aside, Jinyoung was purposely keeping his distance and Jaebum needed time to sort out his own feeling as well. His life had turned into one big joke. Every time he took a step closer to happiness, someone got hurt. His confusion and indecisiveness had caused both Jinyoung and Youngjae so much pain, perhaps the only way Jaebum could make things right was to stop listening to his stupid heart, which was easier said than done. It had taken all his strength to suppress the pain and jealousy when he saw Mark and Jinyoung disappearing together after practice, and even now, despite his brain telling him to do the right thing and stay away, Jaebum wanted nothing more than to take Jinyoung in his arms and just breath in the boy’s scent.

The day hadn’t been easy on him, Jaebum let out a sigh as he recalled his conversation with Youngjae.

" _Isn’t there something else you need to tell us?” Youngjae had been sitting quietly beside Jaebum for a while before he finally decided to speak up._

_"No, what are you talking about?” Jaebum was taken aback by the younger boy’s sudden question but managed to keep his composure._

_“Don’t lie. I heard you talking to PD-nim and he was right to scold you. We voted for you to be our leader, don’t let a moment of weakness get the better of you.” There was a pang of anger in Youngjae’s voice, and Jaebum shuddered a bit at the thought of the angel and the word “anger” in one sentence._

_“Youngjae, it was just a suggestion. Because I’m the leader of this group, I have to take responsibility. If we don’t do better this comeback, maybe someone who can better promote the group should take my position.” Jaebum was speaking from the bottom of his heart. The matter had been on his mind for some time, and even though he didn’t want to admit his doubt, once in a while, he would wonder if he was the right person to lead GOT7._

_“Hyung, I don’t want to say this, but you and Jinyoung hyung are so much alike. You put too much pressure on yourself so whenever something happens, you hide it from everyone and try to deal on your own. Isn’t it tiring?”_

Jinyoung made a small noise that broke his train of thought. The boy squirmed in his sleep, struggling to find a more comfortable position on the couch. Despite all the conflicting thoughts raging inside Jaebum’s brain, the sight of Jinyoung sleeping soundly calmed his heart. He decided to pick the boy up and carry him into his room. _Just this once_ , Jaebum said to himself.

Although he had tried his best to lay the sleeping boy down gently, Jinyoung was awoken from the contact. The boy looked around with sleepy eyes then turned to face him.

“Jaebum hyung? Did you carry me to my room?”

“Yeah, you didn’t look comfortable out there. Sorry for waking you up though.”

“It’s okay, my back will probably hurt again if I keep sleeping on the couch, and you know me, I’ll fall right back into sleep in no time.” Jinyoung yawned. “Hyung, I haven’t thanked you properly for talking to everyone and PD-nim. My mom was really happy when I told her.” The boy added and smiled at Jaebum.

“Jinyoung, are you happy?” His question came out like a whisper.

“I guess I am. Everything is falling into place all of a sudden, I wonder if this is just a dream. I hope it's not like what they say, the calm before the storm or something. We were so dumb back then, hyung. I was afraid I could never face Youngjae again, but he was so nice to forgive me, and things are going well for you two now. It’s like I’m finally at peace with myself. I can put my all into this comeback, and I get to go home during promotion. Today, Mark hyung even took me to see Admiral Yi…” Jinyoung’s voice got smaller as he drifted back to sleep. Soon, the boy was deep in his slumber, looking so innocent and peaceful, a small smile still grazed his lips.

Jaebum carefully brushed a strand of hair from Jinyoung’s face, his fingers lingered for a few seconds. He closed his eyes and bent down to place a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead. _Just this once._

 

 

 

 

Mark was standing outside of Jinyoung’s room when Jaebum came out. The two stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Sometimes having too many questions could render one speechless.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Then make him happy. Don’t hurt him like I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My comment for this chapter was:
> 
> "Just this once.  
> Whew  
> I love that.  
> This is so frwakinheartbreaking.  
> I still ship JJP. Forever JJP."
> 
> Yeah. JJProject/BNyoung is my ship actually. But MarkJin is a close 2nd. Sometimes I like Wang Gae Park Gae and PepiGyeom too. But it always is JJProject even if they are touchy-feely and doesn't have much interactions like the other 3 in hyung-line. I ship them because of their history. It seemed like they are so destined, you know? From winning that JYP contest as a pair, to being trainees, to getting casted in 2 different dramas, to debuting as a duo, to going back as trainees but being in GOT7 --- yet again. I love their history. So much serendipity play. <3


	13. Losing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth will come out. What are you going to do about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead.

“Hyung, is your family coming to pick us up at the airport?” Jinyoung asked as they settled into their seats. The seven boys were on their way to LA for a concert. Although a 12-hour flight wasn’t something that Jinyoung was looking forward to, he was glad to see Mark brimming with excitement. Besides, right after LA, they would gear up for comeback by filming another season of Real GOT7, which meant Jinyoung would soon get to go home too. The boy thought he would have been used to idol life by now,  but every time they flew internationally only to stay for 1 or 2 days before coming back to Korea and head straight to work, Jinyoung was again reminded of how crazy their schedule could get.

“Of course! The whole family will be there. You only saw my parents when they came to Korea last time, I can’t wait to introduce you to my siblings and my lovely niece too. They’re going to love you.” Mark smiled brightly. His smile was truly contagious, as Jinyoung soon found himself smiling along.

“Hmm, I have to think twice about letting you meet my sisters when we go to Jinhae. They’ll eat you alive and spill all my embarrassing childhood stories.” Having forgotten about the tedious flight ahead, Jinyoung started to really consider the possible scenarios of Mark meeting his two older sisters and couldn’t suppress a shudder.

“So your sisters ganged up on you when you were a kid. Is that why my cute Jinyoungie is all uptight now?” The older boy said teasingly, his hand slowly creeping up Jinyoung’s neck all the way to the boy’s earlobe. As expected, Jinyoung’s ears were bright red.

“Hey! I’m not uptight, and my sisters did not “gang up” on me, they just like to make me do aegyo… ” The boy was pouting by this point. Mark really knew how to push his buttons.

“Then I have to thank them properly when we meet, because I love your aegyo.” Mark whispered and leaned closer until his lips almost touched Jinyoung’s. He wondered what kind of reaction the boy would show next — he wanted to know everything, because seriously how could someone be this adorable in every situation?

“You do know we’re sitting right in front of you, right?” Yugyeom’s voice came from the front. Mark and Jinyoung turned to see the maknae giving them a “I-can’t-believe-you-just-did-that” look.

“Yeah, you two are gross. At least Jaebum hyung and Youngjae are sitting away from us, I can’t stand being sandwiched between two couples.” Jackson booed.

“I CAN’T! I CAN’T WITH THE MUSHY STUFF. SOMEONE GET ME OFF THIS PLANE!” BamBam feigned a heart attack, which would have been more much convincing had he not use ketchup to fake the blood dripping out of his mouth. Then again, Jinyoung reckoned he should do something about BamBam’s obsession with collecting packets of condiment from fast food restaurants. It was the omma’s job to take care of the young members and steer them back in the right direction, and he certainly did not want his baby to grow up to be a condiment thief.

“You hear them, we have to tone down before the other passengers start coming in.” Jinyoung said, he was the responsible one after all.

“I’ll try, but I have to warn you, sometimes my hands don’t listen to my brain.” Mark pursed his mouth in a self-satisfied smirk.

The boy realized then that it was impossible to reason with Mark Tuan.

Meanwhile, Jackson, BamBam, and Yugyeom let out a unanimous “eww”.

 

 

 

 

Meeting Mark’s family wasn’t as daunting as Jinyoung had expected, mostly because they had to rush to rehearsal right away and couldn’t talk much during the ride. Jinyoung was glad he had spent the last two nights brushing up on his English, which was by no means bad, he had always been conversationally fluent. Still, it was better to be prepared because he wanted to leave a good impression. The boy was a tiny bit embarrassed when Mark waved him to come over so the two could stand together while waiting for their car. He wasn’t sure what Mark’s family would think of their closeness. After that, Mark had insisted on driving and gestured Jinyoung to sit next to him on the front passenger seat. Jinyoung thought he saw a knowing gleam in Papa Tuan’s eyes, but maybe he was overthinking again. 

Everyone in Mark’s family was so nice and welcoming, Jinyoung found himself talking more comfortably to them, especially after Mark had assured him that his English was “better than okay.” The family stayed for most of rehearsal and only left to buy some In-N-Out for the boys. BamBam was all over the sauce again, but they were all too hungry to care. Despite knowing Mark’s love for hamburger, Jinyoung was still fascinated at the sight of his hyung devouring 2 burgers at once. The boy was secretly jealous that Mark never seemed to gain any weight no matter how much he ate, while Jinyoung himself was getting a little more meat and would have to go on a diet for this comeback. _It must be awesome to have such good genes,_ Jinyoung thought as he pinched his no longer toned stomach.

“Don’t worry, you look cute with a belly.” Mark told the boy, as if reading his mind.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” Jinyoung laughed, secretly pleased.

“Aw, I was really hoping it would.” The older put on a sulky face. “And the good news is everyone like you, as I expected. My sisters were just gushing over how good your skin is.” He added.

“Honestly, now I know why you grow up so well, you have such a nice and loving family. It must be hard to be so far away from home. Although I wonder where you get that bratty side of yours that likes to tease me non-stop.”

“Hey, after the concert, do you want to come to my house? I’m going to spend the night home, and you can sleep there if you want or I can drive you back to the hotel later. Since we’re leaving for Korea first thing in the morning, I want to show you my place.”

“But your parents will be home, is it okay?”

“They won’t mind. Besides, aren’t you excited to learn about the making of Mark Tuan?”

“I guess it won’t hurt to look at some more photos of baby Mark.” Jinyoung cooed while pinching his hyung’s cheeks.

If Jinyoung was surprised by the number of fans at the airport, he was legitimately overwhelmed by the support for GOT7 during the concert. The loud fan chant and numerous banners for each members got everyone pumped up, and the seven boys put their all into the show. After performing their debut song “Girls Girls Girls” and “A”, Mark thanked the fans on behalf of the group, and Jackson assured them that GOT7 would be back with a new album soon. Jinyoung stepped out of his comfort zone and told the fans to look forward to their comeback because they had worked really hard and “it would be awesome”, earning even more cheers from the crowd. When the boy looked to his left, Mark was giving him a thumbs up and a proud smile. Standing there on stage with his six members — his family, Jinyoung felt stronger than ever. Together, they could conquer the world.

 

 

 

 

After dropping everyone off at the hotel, Mark drove Jinyoung back to his house. He had been wanting to spend some time alone with Jinyoung and get to know each other in a place that was dear to his heart. For the first time in his life, Mark didn’t mind taking things slow, although he wouldn’t object to making out with the boy in his room. His parents had gone home right after the concert and they were usually in bed by then, so Mark thought it was odd that the living room was brightly lit. He shrugged it off and took Jinyoung’s hand to lead the boy inside, only to find his group of friends already waiting for him. 

“SURPRISE!” The guys yelled and jumped out of the couch to greet Mark. His ex girlfriend was there as well. _Crap._ Upon realizing that Mark wasn’t alone, they gave him a questioning look, eyes zooming in on Mark and Jinyoung’s intertwined hands. Burned by the stares, Jinyoung quickly let go of the older’s hand.  There was something about those friends of Mark, _something about the way they looked at him_ , that  made the boy uncomfortable.

“This is Jinyoung, right? Nice to meet you.” Some dude said in an attempt to clear the awkward atmosphere.

“Yes, nice to meet you too.” Jinyoung nodded, cracking a forced smile. He couldn’t very well explain the feeling of anxiety in his stomach, but something was just wrong. A particularly mean-looking guy was looking him up and down, and Jinyoung was suddenly reminded of the bully who used to call him a sissy and make fun of him.

“We didn’t know your bandmate will come back with you. The gang is throwing a small party for you at my house, he can come too.” The only girl in the group spoke up, glancing at Jinyoung.

“Hyung, you should go with your friends, I’ll wait for you in your room. I’ve been wanting to catch up with my reading anyway.” Jinyoung whispered, knowing that Mark was put in a difficult situation. He was strangely uncomfortable around these people, Jinyoung would rather stay here than hanging out with them.

Despite not wanting to leave the boy alone, he couldn’t just say no to his homies, and the prospect of Jinyoung being around his friends was equally unfavorable. Mark was relieved that the boy was always so understanding, and he promised to be back as soon as he could before being dragged out by his friends.

The situation wasn’t ideal, but at least Jinyoung brought his book, and he could explore Mark’s room a little. Anything would be better than going to the party.

 

 

 

 

Mark had been gone for almost 2 hours when Jinyoung considered calling him. Just as the boy was about to dial the number, he heard the sound of the bedroom’s door being opened and looked up. Mark was leaning on the girl from earlier, while she had her arm around his torso, trying to get him in the room. Jinyoung rushed over to help them, Mark reeked of alcohol and couldn’t stand up straight. After they managed to drop him on the bed, Mark was deep in his sleep, snoring softly. Jinyoung couldn’t resist the urge to run his hand over the soft brown hair, briefly forgetting about the girl who brought Mark home. On her suggestion, they stepped out of the room to avoid disturbing his sleep. 

“Are you dating Mark?” She asked, startling the boy.

Jinyoung contemplated his answer for a moment. They had not seriously talked about their relationship, but he was definitely dating Mark in every sense of the word. Regardless, he should tell her that they were not dating, but a tiny voice in his mind was pushing him to tell this girl that they were a couple, that Mark was his, _not hers_. Before he could stop himself, Jinyoung nodded. 

“Did you have sex with him?” The girl didn’t back down.

Jinyoung stared at her so hard, his eyes almost popped out.

“No, we don’t sleep together.” He hadn’t expected such a bold question and struggled to answer with a straight face.

“So that's why he still hangs around you. He still need to win the bet.” The girl let out an airy chuckle, her words hit Jinyoung like a ton of bricks.

“What do you mean? What bet?” Jinyoung felt the words lumped at his throat.

“Well, I might as well just say it. Mark is not gay. But you are, and _you like him_.” She spoke with an accusing tone, her eyes pierced straight at the boy. “The guys made a bet that he can get you to have sex with him. It's a bit ridiculous, don't you think?” She added, half suppressing a laugh.

“You’re lying. Mark is not that kind of person.” The boy managed to keep his composure, although with much difficulty.

“When did he start showing interest in you? Was it after he came back from LA? The last time he was here, we had sex. Do you think he's in love with you or something?”

Jinyoung didn’t know how to reply to that question. He was frozen on the spot.

Love?

Park Jinyoung’s experience with love had been nothing but disastrous. The last time he fell in love, everything went wrong. All the bad memories from his relationship with Jaebum flashed through his mind. He thought he could start over, but it seemed he had made the same mistake twice. Once again, Jinyoung fell for someone who did not love him.

_Classic Park Jinyoung._

Funny how the moment he realized his feeling also marked the end of their relationship. His heart was numb, and Jinyoung stood there even after the girl had left, letting the excruciating pain took over his body.

 

 

 

 

Mark woke up with a pounding headache, his mind was still hazy from the crazy amount of alcohol the guys had pushed down his throat. It was still quite dark outside, so Mark supposed he didn’t sleep that long. He was surprised to see Jinyoung standing at the foot of his bed. Something was off about the boy, but Mark couldn’t pinpoint exactly what. 

“Hyung, wanna do it?” Jinyoung smiled at him while slowly crawling on his bed.

“This is not a dream, right? Jinyoung, are you messing with me?” Mark gulped.

The boy was already on top of him, and by on top he meant Jinyoung was sitting directly on his recently-formed boner. Mark’s question was returned with silence, as Jinyoung bent down to kiss him. Mark still couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or not, the boy’s lips felt real against his, but this kiss was so good, he wouldn’t knock the possibility of it being a dream either. His hands found their way to the curve of Jinyoung’s back and slowly kneading down to the ass he had spent much of the last few months staring at. The boy suddenly broke their kiss, and Mark was thought it was time for him to wake up from this delirious dream, but Jinyoung just unzipped Mark’s pants and stripped out of his own T-shirt before returning to their kiss. It was then that Mark saw the boy’s zipper was already down, giving him a glimpse of hot pink briefs. Mark swore in his head, convinced that he had never been this hard his entire life. His arousal only intensified when Jinyoung started stroking him at an agonizingly slow pace.

He slipped a hand down those pink briefs and was amazed to find Jinyoung already loose and wet. The boy let out a yelp when he felt Mark’s fingers briefly tracing his entrance before pushing in.

“I prepared myself in the shower. Want to get fucked quickly.” He panted, seeing the slightly dumbfounded look on Mark’s face.

He just got even harder, if that was physically possible. Mark felt Jinyoung lowered himself onto his dick and started riding him, the boy’s incredible tightness drove him crazy. Jinyoung whimpered softly with each movement, his moans a mixture of pain and pleasure. Mark’s last thread of control snapped, and he did not hesitate to pull the boy down into a kiss and swallow up those delicious moans. The friction from where their bodies connected was making Mark even more dizzy with need. He wanted more, he needed to feel Jinyoung even deeper. His yearning for the boy had grown stronger with each passing day, it wasn’t something that could be satisfied momentarily like lust. He loved this boy, like he had never loved anyone before, truly, madly, deeply.

The two had been going at it for hours, and as they reached another climax, Mark took Jinyoung into his arms and spoke softly to the boy:

“I should have said this before we do this, but…”

“Say what? That you have finally won?” His confession was abruptly cut off by the boy’s icy words. Jinyoung pulled himself out of the warm embrace and got off the bed.

“What are you talking about?” Mark felt his heart sank.

“Save it, hyung. Your girlfriend already told me about the bet. So congratulations, you won, go tell your friend that you fucked the gay boy and stay the hell out of my life from now on.” There was nothing but coldness in Jinyoung’s eyes. He was done with the shock, the pain, everything.

It was as though the walls were closing in on Mark. The image of Jinyoung became blurry and those painful words rang like a fire alarm inside his brain. As Jinyoung was getting ready to leave, Mark finally found the strength to forcefully pulled him back.

“Let me explain. Please. I’ve never meant it to be that way. I was stupid and I went along with that bet, but my feelings for you are real. Don’t say it, don’t tell me to stay away. Please, Jinyoung. I love you. Please trust me.” There were tears in his eyes, words of explanation and excuses muddled up at his throat.

Mark wanted the boy to know that he was not that guy anymore. It started out as an impulse, a game of catch, an inexplicable obsession, but somewhere along the line, he fell for Jinyoung. _He fell hard_. And just when he thought he finally had the boy, the reality was Mark had lost him, probably forever.

Those eyes, devoid of any emotion, made him unable to defend himself. How could he profess his love when he had hurt Jinyoung to the core. The boy yanked his hand away and walked out of the room without looking back. Mark was left alone, heartbroken.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung ran. As soon as he was out of Mark’s room, he ran. The boy didn’t know how he could get back to the hotel, he didn’t even think about where he was going, but he ran anyway. After Jinyoung felt he had ran far enough from Mark’s house, the boy sat down on the side of the road. Jinyoung hated this feeling, he could feel the tears coming. Crying was pathetic, he was stronger than all this. 

To his surprise, a familiar black car pulled over. Mark’s father stepped out of the car and walked to where Jinyoung was sitting. During the few times they met, Papa Tuan always had a warm and jolly smile on his face. He was not smiling, but the look on his face was just as warm.

“Come on, I’ll take you back to the hotel.”

The boy had no other choice but to comply.

They drove together in silence, and Jinyoung thought it would be that way for the rest of the ride, but Mark’s father said something unexpected.

“I heard you talking to Mark’s ex girlfriend, and what he did was wrong and immature. He is not that kind of person, and I’m not saying this because he is my son. I know nothing will change your mind now, but you are special to him. I can see it in his eyes. Please don’t doubt that.”

Jinyoung remained silent, and the old man let him be. When they got to the hotel, Jinyoung muttered a thank you and bowed to him before walking in. It was still early in the morning so the boy had the elevator to himself. Alone in the confined space, Jinyoung broke into tears. The pain was still there after all, despite his denial. He was crying uncontrollably, hot, heavy drops falling down his face like a broken faucet. Jinyoung was mad at himself for being weak, but there was nothing he could do to stop the tears. It hurt, more than he could take.

 _Good job, Park Jinyoung, you held it in long enough. You didn't cry in front of him._ The boy told himself. At least he still had his last shred of dignity, but did it even matter?

Because _goddammit_ , Jinyoung was in love with the guy who took him bungee jumping and called him his tiny dancer. The guy who gave him the strength and courage to throw himself into the air. The guy who, despite not understanding a thing, willingly watched a historical movie with him for more than 2 hours and sat through his tedious explanation of the turtle ship.

The guy who made him feel _happy_ after so long.

The guy who _hurt_ him beyond words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my comment when I read this chapter before for the first time:
> 
> "THIS CHAPTER BROKE MY HEART TO MILLION PIECES."
> 
> Reading it now all over again...  
> It is doing the same as it did before. Huhu.  
> If you were JY, would you actually be able to trust any guy ever again?  
> That's just so much heartbreak, one too many.


	14. Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Push that reset button, honey.

After coming back alone, Jinyoung had resorted to answer every questions from his concerned members with “Nothing, I’m fine” and a barely-there smile. The truth wouldn’t solve anything, besides, he wasn’t completely innocent. Perhaps what happened with Mark was karma getting back at him. He shouldn’t have slept with Jaebum behind Youngjae’s back in the first place. Jinyoung had done enough damage to the group, there was no need to completely destroy everything they had. 

The boy greeted Mark and his family at the car as if nothing was wrong and quickly got in the back seat before the older could say a word. Mark didn’t try to talk to him anymore during the ride to the airport, but every time Jinyoung looked up, he would see sad eyes watching him intently. The boy didn’t ask to change the seating arrangement on the plane — he couldn’t make a big deal of something so trivial, especially when everything was supposedly “fine”. He slipped in next to Mark without words, put on a pair of headphones, and closed his eyes.

_I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine._

In the safety of his own mind, Jinyoung repeated those words. Repeat a lie long enough and it would become the truth, or so he hoped.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung was thankful for their busy schedule. Being busy was good, there was no time to mope around or feel sorry for himself. The seven members of GOT7 only had an hour to pack before they were on another flight to Busan. 24 hours ago, Jinyoung was still excited about going home, but as the manager was driving them from Busan airport to Jinhae, he wanted the ride to last as long as possible. The boy didn’t know how to face his family when he felt like he was at the lowest point of his life. On top of that, they were there for work, and work required him to put on a happy face around Mark and the other members, even when the pain was still eating him inside out. So much for their reality show.

As Jinyoung rolled down the car window and took a deep breath, a familiar scent filled his lungs. The scent of the ocean, of _home_ , calmed the calamity in his heart for a moment. The boy leaned closer to the window and felt the ocean wind brushing through his hair. Jinyoung became aware of cameras filming him, this was the typical “Let’s go on a trip” idol reality scenario. He closed his eyes and pretended to have fallen asleep, basking in the sunlight and breezy weather. If only he could close his heart and not feel a thing.

Jinyoung’s family was waiting for them in front of his childhood home. Despite life’s ups and downs, the boy knew his family would always be there for him. In their arms, he was loved unconditionally. As his mom wiped away the tears Jinyoung didn’t even know he was shedding, he assured them that he was crying tears of joy, that everything was fine, and that he missed them so much. At that moment, the boy could only offer his family a half-truth. Everything wasn’t fine, but he wouldn’t make them worry anymore; for them, he had to become stronger.

 

_Are you happy?_

_No._

_Then why are you smiling?_

_I’m trying._

 

 

 

 

Since Jinyoung’s parents preferred privacy, the crew had rented another house near the beach for filming. For the first day, they only needed footage of GOT7 on their way to Jinhae, so Jinyoung was free to spend the night with his family and celebrate his mom’s birthday. The rest of the boys left for the beach house after exchanging greetings and small talk. The tension between Mark and Jinyoung was not lost on the other members. The two weren’t exactly avoiding each other, but Jinyoung was trying too hard to look cheerful, while Mark had reverted to his quiet self just like when he first came to Korea.

Every time Mark closed his eyes, he would see Jinyoung’s retreating back, as if the boy was walking out of his life for good. Mark never knew his heart could hurt like this, the stabbing pain left him gasping for air. Jinyoung’s cold stare was sharper than knife. Mark wanted to laugh at himself. The foolish playboy who accepted a nasty bet on a whim to entertain his friends and as a result, lost the love of his life.

How laughable.

Seeing Jinyoung pretending that everything was fine made the pain even more unbearable. Although the boy was smiling, Mark saw how his lips would tremble slightly every now and then. Jinyoung, who was supposed to be wholeheartedly happy coming back home to his family, had to try his best to fake a smile. All because Mark had hurt him so much. Yet no matter how selfish he might sound, Mark didn’t want to give up on this boy. He was already in too deep. He already loved too much. There was no other option but to make things right, but how long would it take Jinyoung to forgive him, if ever?

“We need to talk. Outside.” Came Jaebum’s voice.

Mark gave the leader a blank stare before following him out.

 

 

 

 

“Mom, let me do it~ It’s your birthday, and you know I’m the best at peeling apples.” Jinyoung took the bowl of fruits from his mom. The boy was even using his aegyo voice to make sure she wouldn’t refuse.

After they had eaten dinner and cut the cake, mom hurried back to the kitchen to bring out more snacks and treats for the family. Whenever Jinyoung was home, he would ask to help with cleaning up and preparing desserts. Standing next to mom and telling her about his routined life in Seoul was Jinyoung’s favorite part about being home. They usually talked about the most mundane things but the boy found more comfort in her presence that anything else in the world.

“Jinyoungie, you can always tell mom if there’s something wrong, you know that, right?” She said and gently placed her hand on his back.

“I’ll tell you when the time is right.” The boy replied while continuing to peel the apple, not wanting to meet her eyes. There was no use denying it, especially when mom could see through his lie right away, but Jinyoung couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. The family didn’t talk much about him being gay, although they had always known and were accepting of the fact. However, this wasn’t the same as coming out to his parents. Mom would be so shocked and disappointed if she knew how messed up his love life was. 

“Is this about work? Or a guy?” She wasn’t going to give up, not when her son looked like he was about to cry but kept a smile on his face the whole night.

“It’s me. I’m the problem.” Jinyoung sighed and put down the knife. “Mom, I’m tired of making mistakes and letting love interfere with my life and my career. Maybe love is just not for me.” The boy leaned on the kitchen counter for support. He didn’t want to look weak in front of her, but at the same time Jinyoung wished he could be five again and run to mommy’s arms with all his problems.

“My dear, whatever happens, promise me that you won’t give up on love. People come and go, that’s just life. The important thing is to love yourself first, and son, you are so worthy of being loved.” Her soothing words and warm embrace made the boy tear up. Jinyoung knew she was right, but a part of him still believed that perhaps he didn’t deserve love in the first place.

 _Mom, I’m sorry but I can’t promise you that. I don’t want to risk getting hurt again._ He thought, hugging her tighter.

Jinyoung’s phone rang all of a sudden. It was Yugyeom on the other line.

“Gyeomie?”

“Hyung, you need to hurry over here! Jaebum hyung and Mark hyung are fighting!” The maknae was obviously panicking, almost yelling into Jinyoung’s ear.

“What? Why are they fighting?” He whispered to the phone and took a quick glance at his mother, hoping she wasn’t paying attention.

“I think it’s because of you.” Yugyeom said with a hesitant voice. “Anyway, there’s no time, just get here as soon as you can!”

Jinyoung was still staring at his phone after the call ended, his thoughts running wild.

“Mom, I have to go now.”

 

 

 

 

When Jinyoung arrived at the scene, it was a big mess. Jaebum had pushed away their manager, who was trying to hold him back, and proceeded to launch another punch at Mark, knocking the older to the ground.

“Didn’t I fucking tell you not to hurt him? Answer me!” Jaebum didn’t stop there, screaming as he grabbed Mark’s shirt and went in for another hit.

Mark ducked and retaliated with a kick to Jaebum’s stomach, effectively shoving the leader off. He didn’t answer. The two stood up only to crash into each other again, ready to continue their brawl.

“Stop! Have you lost your fucking mind?” Jinyoung jumped in and extended his arms to create some distance between them. He wanted to punch them both in the face for being so immature, but that would require him to look into Mark’s eyes for more than a few seconds, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with those sad eyes yet. In the end, the boy couldn’t stop himself from turning to Mark, only to find the older already staring at him. There were so many emotions in those eyes. Anger, sadness, regret. Jinyoung was supposed to be the sad one, so he couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt sorry for Mark. His mind wandered to what Mark’s father had said during the ride back to the hotel, but he brushed it off immediately. There was no excuse to what Mark did.

Everyone was relieved to see that Jinyoung’s presence finally knocked some sense into the two. Mark turned away first, still not saying a word. Jaebum took one last look at Mark then grabbed Jinyoung’s hand and dragged him away.

During all the years he had known Jaebum, the boy never saw him getting into a fight with anyone. Even Jinyoung, who was known for being gentle and motherly, had once punched another trainee in the face. He was taken aback by this new side of the leader and the fact that Mark and Jaebum were fighting because of him. The boy started to feel angry at these two idiots. Regardless of the problem, fighting in front of the whole group and manager hyung was unacceptable. Fortunately, the other staff and crew weren’t staying with them, but what if someone had caught the scene on tape? No amount of damage control would be able to save the group’s image then. Jinyoung hadn’t expected them to be this irresponsible. Knowing Jaebum, he could tell the leader was still fuming and the best thing to do in this situation was to stay silent and wait for him to let off steam. The boy would reprimand him later.

“What did Mark do? He told me that he hurt you, but he wouldn’t tell me the whole story.” Jaebum asked when they had walked far enough from everyone. The night was still, even the sound of their footsteps seemed muted somehow. Jinyoung had gone so accustomed to the silence that it took him a while to realize Jaebum had said something.

“Hyung, it’s not important anymore.” Jinyoung answered with a sigh and unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself. The thought of what happened in LA still hurt.

“Are you in love with him?”

“Doesn’t matter. Mark and I, it’s over between us anyway.”

“But you love him, right?” Jaebum’s eyes bore straight into Jinyoung’s, unfazed by the boy’s avoidance.

The stubbornness in his voice made Jinyoung unable to speak for a moment. They kept staring at each other in silence until it became too much and the boy turned his back to Jaebum, desperately wanting to escape the conversation. “Hyung, if you keep doing this I won’t talk to you anymore.”

“Don’t go to him. Don’t love him.” As he whispered those imploring words, Jaebum hugged Jinyoung from the back, strong arms tightening around the boy’s chest. “Jinyoung, I love you. I’m going to break up with Youngjae. Be with me.” Jaebum knew in his heart how deplorable he sounded, but this could be his only chance to be with the one. He wasn’t ready to let go after all. 

“What kind of bullshit is this? I thought things are going well for you and Youngjae.” Jinyoung broke out of the embrace as if he was burned and turned to look at the older in pure shock. A few months ago, he would have traded anything to hear those words. How many nights did he spend lying wide awake, wishing that Jaebum would leave Youngjae for him? He finally got his wish, but it didn’t feel good at all.

Everything had changed.

“No, I have been keeping my distance ever since I realized my feelings for you, since the day you went missing. I’ve been wanting to break up with Youngjae, I just haven’t found the right moment.”

“But Youngjae said you two made up and slept together!”

“No, that’s not true! Why would he lie to you like that?” It was Jaebum’s turn to be dumbfounded.

“Don’t you realize what this mean, hyung?” Jinyoung felt sick to his stomach. His head hurt. His heart hurt. “He still hasn’t forgiven us, and of course, why should he? What we did was unforgivable. I’m tired of this. Our relationship has caused a lot of pain for us and for other people. We made actually-an-angel Youngjae lie, can you fucking believe it? Sweet, innocent Youngjae told a lie! And now you and Mark even fought in front of everyone because of me. Do you think I feel flattered? No, I’m furious, I’m ashamed of myself, even.”

Jaebum could do nothing but stand there and listen to the boy’s outburst. If only he could turn back time and make things right. They could have been happy together. Sadly, there’s no if in life.

“You can’t do this to me, hyung. You can’t do this to Youngjae. Maybe you love me now, but I’m not the one for you. I’m even not sure if I’m the one for anyone. What good is love? Feelings change. People change. One minute you love Youngjae, the next minute you love me. What am I supposed to do?  Whether it’s with you or Mark, I seem to have shit timing.” Jinyoung broke down in tears. He hated losing control and crying again, but there was no stopping the tears. The boy started hitting his own chest, hoping the physical pain might ease his throbbing heart.

_To hell with love._

“Do you remember our dream of making GOT7 the top group? We can’t be bogged down by something as transient as feelings anymore. All of this have to end, for the sake of the group. Let’s stop here, hyung.”

With those last words, Jinyoung walked away, leaving Jaebum to collect his thoughts.

Unbeknownst to the two, Youngjae had followed them and heard everything. The boy approached Jaebum in tiny steps, taking his time for some reason.

“Jaebum hyung, I’m breaking up with you.” Youngjae calmly said to a still daze Jaebum. His face was devoid of anger or sadness.

The older stared back, tongue-tied.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung was sitting on the soft sand and staring blankly into the distance. The boy was almost surrounded by darkness, save for the flickering lights from nearby homes. Jinyoung felt more alone than ever, but as turned out, he wasn’t the only one on the beach.

“You’re still here.” Mark sat down next to Jinyoung. He had been watching the boy from afar but didn’t dare to come closer without knowing for sure what to say. It took him a while to come up with that simple sentence.

“Yeah, I thought I would spend some alone time reflecting on the fact that I had sex with 1/3 of GOT7, not counting myself of course. How fucked up is that? I guess this is why you should never let a gay guy join an idol group.” The boy laughed bitterly.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Jinyoung.” Mark winced at the pain in Jinyoung’s voice. _Don’t take the blame._ _Don_ _’t talk so lightly of yourself. Don’t act like everything is fine._

“Leave me alone. This is my sea. Go find your own spot.” The boy shooed Mark away, trying to act like how he normally would. Jinyoung was determined not to look at the older. He had not cried in front of Mark yet, and he would like to keep it that way, even if he had to come off a little bit childish.

“I love you.” Mark grabbed Jinyoung’s hand, forcing the boy to look his way. He had never been more serious in his life.

“Not this again, hyung.” The boy turned away, shaken by the intensity of the older’s gaze. He couldn’t let Mark weaken his resolve.

“Please, just listen, and don’t say anything until I’m finished.” Mark said pleadingly. The desperation in his voice made Jinyoung feel a pang of guilt.

“I could tell that there was something going on between you and Jaebum even before I saw you two together that day. You only had eyes for him. I knew that because I was always watching you, without even realizing it myself. This may sound a bit cocky, but thanks to this face I’ve lived an easy life for the past 22 years. I was used to being special, popular, wanted, all that crap. Don’t get me wrong, Jaebum is an alright guy, but I thought I lack nothing compared to him, until I saw the way you looked at him. In your eyes, he was the most special, most important person in the world. I had never felt that jealous of anyone, I didn’t even know what jealousy was. Heck, the old Mark Tuan didn’t know a lot of things. But you happened, and all of a sudden, I was having these strange emotions. I was intrigued, I started to care, I got frustrated when you didn’t look at me the way you looked at him. I wanted to be the special person in your eyes.” Mark’s eyes never left Jinyoung as he continued to pour his heart out.

“I never care about that bet. I needed an excuse to make light of my feelings for you. I convinced myself that the desire to be close to you was just to fulfill a bet. It may started out that way, but then I got to know you, and I was captivated. I didn’t fall in love with you from the start, but my feelings for you are real.” 

Jinyoung knew Mark was speaking the truth. But what difference could it make? He was already hurt, so was Mark. They were two broken people in love.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. My mind is made up. Hyung, I’m hitting the reset button. I will return to being the person I was before all of this — the boy whose only passion was to perform. I can only think of GOT7’s success now, I want us to reach the top, together, as a team. Let’s work hard to become the best group!” Jinyoung was smiling brightly now, his voice full of excitement. Mark just looked at him with a painful expression.

“From this moment on, we’re back to being teammates. Friends. We can pretend that none of this ever happened. We’ll sing and dance on stage together. The seven of us will practice late into the night, and you’ll help me with martial arts tricking because I suck. Sometimes, we’ll hug and kiss to please the fans. We’ll laugh at each other’s jokes, like nothing ever happened.” Jinyoung kept on rambling, and for a while Mark thought the boy was actually fine, until he saw a teardrop falling from Jinyoung’s face, followed by another, and another. Soon, the boy was crying his eyes out, each gut-wrenching sobs gnawed at Mark’s heart.

“Will you laugh at my boring jokes, hyung?” Jinyoung asked, looking straight into Mark’s eyes.  

“Why aren't you saying anything? Friends are supposed to be supportive. You suck.” He punched lightly at the older’s shoulder, laughing and crying at the same time, his whole body shaking.

“Promise me you'll laugh at my jokes, okay?” The boy smiled at Mark with sad, teary eyes.

Mark clenched his fists, trying to stop the tears from welling up in the corner of his eyes. He drew closer until their foreheads were touching. Mark wished he could take all the pain away and make Jinyoung happy again. He wanted to say a thousand “I love you” to the sobbing boy and kiss those trembling lips, but he felt unworthy.

_I love you so much, but right now my love will just be a burden to you, right?_

So instead, Mark repeated what Jinyoung wanted to hear over and over again while gently patting the boy’s back.

“I’m sorry. I will, I promise. I’m sorry. I promise. I’m sorry. I promise…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my comment when I read this chapter for the first time:
> 
> Goddamn...this chapter
> 
> 1\. Jaebum knew in his heart how deplorable he sounded, but this  
> could be his only chance to be with the one. He wasn’t ready to let go after all.  
> “What kind of bullshit is this?" YES JINYOUNG. EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!!!!!
> 
> 2\. I was imagining if JB x Jin gets together but they both know that JB totally  
> had his heart beating crazily the first time he saw YJ, that will still be a  
> recurring issue I guess. And I wouldn't want JY to suffer that  
> kind of continuing insecurity.
> 
> 3\. Yesss.... I am loving this JY now. The person who knows what  
> should his priorities be. Knowing where he wants to go.  
> And doing it...even if it took him 2 heartbreaks to realize this  
> and find that kid-with-a-dream again. And even if it entails  
> him to stop (pause rather) his feelings for someone now.
> 
> 4\. I cried. Literally I cried while reading that part when JY  
> was rambling which ended with "promise me you'll laugh at my jokes hyung"  
> MY HEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTTT
> 
> Damn. Tears. Seriously. I bate you authornim
> 
> 5\. "I love you so much, but right now my love will just be a  
> burden to you, right?" ...being mature Mark Tuan. Good job. Love it.


	15. EXTRA #3: What You Don’t Know

_“Jaebum hyung, I’m breaking up with you.” Youngjae calmly said to a still daze Jaebum. His face was devoid of anger or sadness._

_The older stared back, tongue-tied._

Before Jaebum could say anything, Youngjae went on, never once losing his composure.

“A part of me thought that just having you as my boyfriend would be enough whether your heart is with me or not, so I did everything I could to stomach the pain and stay by your side. Despite everything that happened, I still love you, but I’m no angel. You’re not in love with me now, there’s no point in this relationship.”

To Jaebum’s surprise, the younger suddenly smiled at him. He had never seen a smile exuding such confidence, fierceness, and resolution. It was unlike Youngjae’s personality. What the boy said next hit Jaebum with the force of a freight train.

“Here’s the thing though, you’d better watch out, because I’m pursuing you. I’m going to make you fall in love with me for real this time, then we can be boyfriends again. Im Jaebum, you are a full-time idiot and occasional jerk. Yes, I just said you’re a jerk, get used to it. Even so, I love you and all your flaws. You probably won't give up on Jinyoung hyung now that Mark hyung has screwed up. But remember this: when you chase after him, I will chase after you. We’re broken up, but we’re not done. I think you are the one for me, and you told me, right? Never give up on the one.

“So prepare yourself, hyung, because I’m coming for your heart.”

Not-actually-an-angel Youngjae stood there, all smiles and sunshine and everything nice, like the first time they met.

Jaebum wondered what he had gotten himself into.

 

 

 

 

The next few days, Youngjae wasn’t acting any differently. He was the same sweet, caring, cute-as-a-button Youngjae that everyone knew and loved. Jaebum had taken the liberty to move out of their shared room, choosing instead to spend his nights on the couch. The younger seemed to have no problem with that, to which Jaebum breathed out a sigh of relief. Youngjae never mentioned the night they broke up again, in fact, their topic of conversation had been more or less work-related. The impending comeback was crucial to GOT7’s career, and to Jaebum especially, it was his chance to prove to himself and the group that he could be a good leader. Since Youngjae was the only person who knew about his insecurities, the leader felt comfortable talking to the boy about his plan, from the group’s schedule during promotion period to his own individual activities. He was grateful they could talk like normal friends — Youngjae had actually called him an idiot quite a few times and scolded him whenever Jaebum started doubting himself. The younger showed no sign of following up with his intention to “pursue” Jaebum, so to speak. Youngjae was still, well, Youngjae.

Now that he was free from post-relationship awkwardness and determined to focus on the comeback, nothing really bothered Jaebum anymore. Except the fact that their living room might be haunted. Sometimes, Jaebum woke up with a sore arm or neck, and he would be reminded of that Thai horror movie that BamBam made them all watch, the one where ghost lady sat on the photographer guy’s shoulder and he would always feel sore without knowing the cause. Brave as he was, Jaebum couldn’t help but shudder.

 

 

 

 

They were filming another episode of Real GOT7 and the mission was replying to the fans’ real-time comments. As instructed, the boys gathered around a laptop and picked the comments that they found interesting. Since this was the second time they had done something like this, all the members knew what to expect. Some comments were so funny, they fell over each other laughing, others were just plain weird, and there were some truly heart-warming comments that made the boys remember why they chose to become idols in the first place.

“JB is my man.” Jaebum chuckled as he read aloud a message that was clearly intended for him. He always found these kind of comments funny and was ready to reply with his fanservice, something like winking at the camera while saying thank you to the lovely fan.

“I’m sorry, but he’s my man.” Came Youngjae’s voice, loud and clear.

Everyone stopped their chatter, all eyes were on the boy.

“JB is mine.” He said again, as if worried that some people might have not heard him properly. There wasn’t an inkling of embarrassment on his face.

It was Yugyeom who burst out laughing first, and the other members followed, not knowing how else to react.

Jaebum snuck a glance at Youngjae, only to catch the younger smiling at him, the same smile he saw that night.

Gosh, he hoped the staff would do a good job editing this episode.

 

 

 

 

“Hyung, how much would you pay to know a secret?” The giant maknae approached Jaebum with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Why do I have the feeling you’re up to no good again?” The leader mumbled under his breath, he was still recovering from the shock of their earlier filming session.

“Hey, I’m just helping out you clueless people. How’s your arm by the way?” Yugyeom patted Jaebum’s arm, which was still mysteriously sore. “You sleep like a log so you probably don’t notice, but a certain someone has been snuggling with you on the couch every night before going back to his own room early in the morning.”

“What?” Jaebum almost bit his own tongue in the process of uttering what could have been the most unintelligent response in history.

“There’s no such thing as a ghost lady, hyung” Yugyeom smirked, his eyes twinkling in amusement. “And you owe me 50,000 won!” The maknae yelled as he walked away from his dumbfounded hyung. It was tough being the sanest person in this group despite his young age. With great power comes great responsibility.

Once again, Jaebum wondered what he had gotten himself into. Seriously.


	16. We’re Fine. Or Not.

As GOT7 comeback date drew closer, the members started to feel the heat of not getting enough sleep and being too busy for any social interactions outside of their own little group. Everyday was a circle of waking up, going to practice and shooting, getting fitted for costumes, and crashing into bed at around 2 or 3 in the morning. Jaebum had another problem — his whole body was aching from sleeping on the couch. To make matter worse, he didn’t even have the couch to himself. The leader groaned as he did his morning stretching in an attempt to relax the sore muscles.

“I think you should just move back in, it can’t be comfortable for you and Youngjae to share that couch, and there’s a whole room going to waste. You being stubborn is nothing new, but even Youngjae. I need some time to get used to this new Youngjae. You keep pretending to not notice him climbing onto the couch while he’s determined to make his presence known by using your arm as a pillow, and for what? You both wake up achey and sore.” Jinyoung crept up from behind to give Jaebum a lecture while sipping at his morning coffee.

“You know?” Jaebum’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Well, everyone knows. Yugyeom has a big mouth.” The boy shrugged, moving closer so that they were standing side by side. Jinyoung continued to drink his coffee, enjoying what little free time they had before having to go to another practice. He kept his gaze out the window, watching the rain falling lightly. The silence was so comfortable, Jaebum felt like a jerk for breaking it.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m focused. We’ve got a good track this time, I have high hopes for our comeback. I can feel it, we’re finally getting close to that No. 1 spot.” Jinyoung traced the raindrops on the glass pane with his fingertip, his mind a thousand miles away.

Jaebum let out a sigh. “I mean, how are you feeling?” 

“I don’t know. Just tired I guess.” Another absentminded answer.

“Jinyoung, I hate to see you like this. You are keeping your emotions bottled up again. I know you’re doing this for the sake of the group, but pretending that everything’s fine is not the way to get over whatever happened between you and Mark.”

“Correction, nothing happened. We’re friends. Friendly friends. 3 days ago, I asked him what’s for dinner, and yesterday, he helped me perfecting a flip. We’re okay.” The boy recounted in a monotonous voice. “Youngjae’s watching us. Aww, I think he’s jealous. How cute.” He added with a grin after noticing Youngjae peeking from the kitchen.

“Mark doesn’t seem to be paying attention at all, he’s just eating cereal.” Jaebum glimpsed at Mark, returning the favor.

“Don’t try to make this about me. And I don’t care unless he’s choking on that cereal.”

Jinyoung huffed. “Hyung, I’ve missed this, us bantering just like old times.” He smiled, finally looking at the leader.

“Your sass level has gone up.”

“So has yours.” The boy chuckled.

“Jinyoung, you are still my brother and my partner-in-crime. Before I love you in a romantic sense, I love you as a friend. I don’t necessarily approve of what you’re doing, but I won’t interfere with your decision. Trust me, time soothes all pain, so don’t deny yourself a chance to be happy.” Jaebum became serious again.

The boy didn’t answer, instead, he took another quick glance at Youngjae then mouthed the words “Go back to your room” to Jaebum while walking backwards into the kitchen.

 _You’re the most stubborn one._ The leader thought to himself, shaking his head at Jinyoung’s retreating figure. His eyes caught Youngjae’s next and both turned away in a flash. Jaebum coughed awkwardly before continuing to stretch his aching shoulder. Their first comeback stage was only a week away, and Jaebum wanted to be in his best condition.

Maybe he should take Jinyoung’s advice.

 

 

 

 

“Um, Minyoung? I’m on my way. Tell auntie not to worry. Yeah, you can meet my members, but we’ll have practice soon. Okay, see you in a bit. ”

“Who’s Minyoung?” BamBam reached up from the backseat to ask after Jinyoung had finished talking on the phone. Yugyeom was equally curious, although he didn’t say anything, Jinyoung could tell his ears had already perked up. The maknae was the information center of the group after all.

“My cousin. She’s a new trainee at our company.” Jinyoung announced. 

“Whoa, and you waited till now to tell us? Bad Jinyoungie! Is she pretty?” Of course that got Jackson’s attention immediately, the HongKong rapper wailed in protest of Jinyoung’s deliberate attempt to hide his (possibly) pretty cousin from the rest of them.

“Don’t even try. She’s off limits to all of you.” The boy glared at his rowdy members, effectively shutting them up.

When the boys arrived, Jinyoung asked for manager hyung’s permission to be late to practice, as his aunt wanted him to take her and Minyoung to JYP PD-nim’s office. By the time Jinyoung came back, which was about an hour later, the other members were taking a break. A girl shyly followed him into GOT7’s practice room.

“Hey, she kinda looks like Jinyoung hyung.” Yugyeom whispered to the others.

“Hello, I’m Jinyoung’s cousin, Park Minyoung. Nice to finally meet you all. I’m a big fan!” As Jinyoung led her closer to the group, she took a deep bow and greeted them. Minyoung seemed like a nice and sweet girl, she was pretty as well.

“She got here too early and still hasn’t been assigned a dorm yet, so I’m stuck with this little troublemaker until 5.” Jinyoung complained jokingly. They had always been close enough to tease each other that way.

The girl glared at Jinyoung for a millisecond before smiling shyly again. The interaction between two cousins caused everyone to giggle.

“I have to practice my part, just stay here and don’t cause any trouble, okay? Please take care of my cousin, guys.” Jinyoung said in his umma voice. “And whatever she says happened when I was 6, it’s not true.” He added as an afterthought.

“What happened when Jinyoung hyung was 6?” Yugyeom couldn’t wait one second to ask after Jinyoung had turned away.

“Oh, our families are really close and we resembled each other a lot more when we were younger, so my mom used to dress us in matching outfits. One time, she made us wear hanbok and took a photo of us then sent it to a photo contest. Back then, twins always won, for some reason.”

“Hey, that wasn’t so bad.” Youngjae commented.

“He was wearing one of my hanboks, and it was a Little Miss contest. I think I still have the photo on my phone. Wanna see?” Minyoung winked mischievously.

“Jinyoungie, is this why you’re always against us cross-dressing during fan meetings and such?” Jackson yelled to Jinyoung who was practicing across the room. He was way too excited, as usual.

“She’s lying. It’s photoshopped. I can’t hear you over the loud music.” Jinyoung threw out as many excuses as he could think of.

Minyoung noticed Mark, who was apparently occupied in his own business, sitting away from everyone else on the big bench. Even though GOT7 members were all attractive, Mark was definitely the most eye-catching. She had watched them on TV countless times, but Mark was even cooler in person, something about his quiet demeanor drew her in. To tell the truth, every female trainees who got in around the same time as Minyoung had once talked about how good-looking Mark was. She had been careful to hide the fact that she was Jinyoung’s cousin from the other trainees to keep them from getting any ideas. One of them was extremely smug after she accidentally passed by Mark in the hallway at the day of audition and claimed that the LA heartthrob actually turned around to look at her. Seeing how indifferent Mark was when she walked into the room, Minyoung suspected the other girl was lying. She wasn’t being overly-confident, since Minyoung was little, everyone would usually take a liking to her immediately. She was the whole package, pretty face and fun personality.

“You don’t say much, do you?” The girl approached Mark and tried to start a conversation. She was still standing around awkwardly since Jinyoung left, half watching her cousin dance.

Mark nodded without saying anything.

“What are you writing? Is that lyrics?” She leaned forward to take a quick peek.

“Yeah, they’re not any good though.” He immediately closed the notebook and looked at her with an unreadable expression.

“Jinyoung, the way you dance is too sexual, rein it in!” The dance instructor called out, feeling amused at Jinyoung’s over-the-top body language.

The boy playfully stuck out his tongue, earning a laugh from his instructor hyung.

“Do you want to sit down?” Mark pointed at the space next to him.

 _You’re blocking the view._ This he didn’t say out loud.

Minyoung fought hard to suppress a contented smile and sat down.

Although he was focused on dancing, Jinyoung could see his cousin flirting with Mark thanks to the giant mirror in their practice room. The boy didn’t know how to feel about them getting chummy. On one hand, he was supposed to act casual around Mark, and as a casual friend he shouldn’t have an opinion about who Mark wanted to talk to, on the other hand, he might have possibly thought about maybe eventually strangle both of them. For reasons.

Jinyoung didn’t want to get involved with Mark, or any guy for that matter. At the moment, work was his only priority. That being said, he couldn’t just banish his feelings for the older into the depth of hell. Barely 10 days had passed since he pressed the reset button, and he wasn’t a machine. Compared to Jinyoung, Mark was doing an even better job of pretending that nothing happened, the older didn’t hesitate to talk to him, he didn’t shy away from doing fanservice, and admittedly it made the boy a little irritated. Minyoung was flashing a timid smile at Mark again, Jinyoung knew all her moves. He loved his cousin, but that was a little too obvious. In any case, he had vowed to never let his messed up relationships stand in the way of GOT7’s success again. Jinyoung needed a distraction, something that would help him get over Mark faster.

It was then that his phone vibrated, and the boy received a message that he was offered a role in the primetime drama he had secretly auditioned for before they went to LA. Jinyoung almost jumped in joy.

 

 

 

 

The seven boys were chilling after another intense practice. They had their first stage the day before, and the warm reception from fans and non-fans alike continued to surprise the group.

“I can’t believe we reached 10 million views on Youtube in less than a week.” Jackson said in amazement, he had been checking their Youtube account non-stop since the MV was uploaded.

“So many positive comments after the first stage!! And our song is climbing up the chart faster than ever.” Youngjae cheered. Even Coco was barking excitedly.

“Calm down, guys. The competition is pretty tough so it all depends on next week.” Being the sensible leader of the group, Jaebum felt obligated to calm down his members, although he himself was pretty pleased at the result of their comeback.

“I’m feeling hopeful~ The preorder number is good too. Let’s take a group selca for the fans!” BamBam took a photo of them and was disappointed to see Mark and Jinyoung not looking at the camera.

“By the way, your cousin, she has dropped by an awful lot lately, don’t you think?” Yugyeom turned to Jinyoung but got no response, as he was immersed in reading his drama script. The boy barely had any time to sleep due to comeback, let memorize his lines. Jinyoung’s role — a genius multilingual high school student who secretly assisted the police force in busting international organized crime groups — had a lot of complicated lines. Each page of the script was full of highlights and notes explaining certain phrases. The boy had to do lots of research on his own, so it was understandable that Jinyoung had been a little distant lately. Yugyeom was worried about his hyung, but he couldn’t do anything rather than putting his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder to let the older know he was being supportive.

“I think she has a crush on our cool Mark hyung.” BamBam cooed, he was quick to catch the drift.

“Why do you get all the girls?” Jackson elbowed Mark in a joking manner, but the older remained silent.

“How was your script reading?” Jaebum asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah, hyung, we’re really looking forward to your drama, it sounds fun!” Yugyeom took advantage of his position next to Jinyoung and gave a gentle shake, finally succeeded in making the boy look up from his script.

“This would be your first lead role, right? You were so good in Eundong.” Youngjae chimed in.

“I tried my best but honestly, I’m not sure.” Jinyoung sighed, flipping through his 300+ pages of blood, sweat, and tears, which was not a hyperbole. He had a nosebleed from staying up too late, his sweat got all over the place because he always had to study between performance breaks, and at some point, Jinyoung swore he had cried into the pages from desperation. “I have the least experience among the cast, let’s just hope I won’t burden the senior actors with my crappy acting.”

“There you go, doubting yourself again. If you needs a practice partner, I’m available.” Jackson’s hand shot up in the air.

“Yeah, Jackson can help you with Chinese, and we have a LA hyung right here.” Youngjae nodded, contemplating the arrangement. “I mean, um, if that’s okay with you two.” He realized his slip and nervously tried to backpedal.

“Of course it’s okay!” Mark and Jinyoung said at the same time. Their synchronization aside, those were the only words coming out of Mark’s mouth the entire day.

For some reason, Yugyeom and BamBam turned away to hide their giggles, albeit not very subtly.

Jinyoung concealed his awkwardness with a cough then buried his face in the script.

And Mark went back to being a wall.

 

 

 

 

“If you give me Mark oppa’s number, I’ll delete our twinsy photo from my phone.” Minyoung tried to bargained with her cousin.

“You’ve already shown that to everyone I know, so no, thanks.” The boy answered absentmindedly, not looking up from his script.

“Come on, Jinyoungie~ I think there could be something here. Remember when we first met? He told me to sit next to him.”

“He’s from LA, that’s normal. Besides, we have a dating ban for 3 years.”

“I just want to be closer to him since he’s really my type. Please~” She snatched his script and looked at Jinyoung with puppy eyes. The boy couldn’t even memorize one line with Minyoung bothering him nonstop.

“Fine. Here you go, now leave me alone.” He gave up and threw her his phone in exchange for the script.

“Hm, but I can’t just text him out of the blue and ask him out. That’s not ladylike at all, and usually guys ask me first.” Minyoung sighed theatrically.

“And you’re telling me this because..?” The boy gave her a 'not-my-problem' look.

“Can you help me get some time alone with him? Please Jinyoungie, pretty please?” She put her hands together and closed her eyes expectantly, asking for his help.

“No.” Jinyoung was flat out brutal.

“Meanie. I started to think you just don't want to me to date him. Why? Jinyoungie likes him too?” Her words hit a tender spot. 

_Ugh. This is why I’m gay._

“If I do this for you, will you promise to stop pestering me with any Mark-related stuff?”

Minyoung nodded repeatedly, her aegyo overflowing.

Jinyoung flicked her forehead in annoyance then grabbed his phone and sent a text to Mark.

— Hyung, do you want to have dinner tonight? I want to thank you for agreeing to help me with my script. Is 8 PM okay? Here’s the address: XXX-XX —

— I’ll be there — The reply came almost instantaneously.

“Happy?”

“Yes! Thanks, Jinyoungie. You’re the best!”

Jinyoung felt the frustration burning inside him, but he pretended to be fine.

 

 

 

 

When he arrived at the restaurant, Mark was surprised to find Jinyoung not alone, but he took the seat next to the younger like nothing was wrong. Admittedly, the boy hadn’t said it would be just the two of them, and seeing Minyoung there, this was definitely not a date. It was Mark’s own fault for getting his hopes up.

As the food started to come out, Jinyoung checked his phone.

“The director just texted me, something came up. I have to go now. You two keep eating, I’ll take care of the bill.” The boy stood up in a hurry. “Hyung, can you take her home later? Don’t worry, the restaurant owner is a relative of mine so you can go through the backdoor.” He said to Mark, deliberately avoiding the older’s eyes.

Something inside Mark broke.

So this was a date after all.

Jinyoung started to walk toward the door but suddenly turned back and quickly placed something next to Mark before running out again. It was a mask, the same one he always used at the airport to hide his face.

After Jinyoung left, silence returned to the table. Mark and Minyoung were in a private cube, so the lack of conversation was even more apparent. Mark was committed to eating his meal and not talking to the girl sitting in front of him.

“Oppa, how’s your food?”

“It’s fine.”

“Mine is really good, do you want to try?”

“No, thanks.”

“Oppa, is this hard to talk to me? I would think that you already have someone you like and you’re worried about being unfaithful just by talking to another girl.” She said jokingly, although feeling slightly offended by his curt replies.

“Yes.” Was all he said.

Minyoung was a bit flustered. She hadn’t expected Mark to be so straightforward, but that made her like him even more.

“Lucky girl.” She smiled, taking a sip of water to calm her discomfort.

Mark was polite but distant for the rest of the meal, and when it was time for them to come home, he asked the owner to call a cab for Minyoung.

“Sorry, I already risked too much being out in public with a girl. Get home safely.” Mark wore the mask and put the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. The girl nodded in understanding.

A few minutes later, he received a message from Minyoung.

— Oppa, I got your number from Jinyoungie. Sorry for making you uncomfortable today, but can I start liking you? —

Mark wanted to throw his phone in frustration.

_God damnit. Park Jinyoung._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my comment in this chapter when I first read it on AFF:
> 
> "And Mark went back to being a wall.  
> Ok now thanks for making me laugh so hard at this hahahaha  
> I love you again (dont make me cry again please LOL)"


	17. Until We Can Be Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kabedon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Mark was furious_ — he had been banging on Jinyoung’s door for a while without getting any response from the younger. He could tell that Jinyoung was inside from the little noises the boy would make sometimes, and after what happened at the restaurant with Minyoung, Mark wasn’t going to take silence for an answer. Jinyoung could hide all he wanted, the older was determined to get things straight once and for all.

“Park Jinyoung, we need to talk! I know you’re in there.” Mark was getting more and more impatient with each passing second. Just when he started to seriously consider knocking down the door with his body weight, Mark heard a click and the door was unlocked, revealing a freshly showered Park Jinyoung in his white cotton PJ.

The boy had heard muffled sounds of someone knocking and yelling his name like a lunatic and rushed out of the en suite bathroom. He assumed it was either Yugyeom or BamBam, only those two would get this emotional about how much time he spent in the shower. So Jinyoung was being a little too liberal with the hot water, so what? Once in a while, especially when he was in a bad mood, the boy needed to pamper himself with a long, undisturbed, hot bath. Jinyoung wasn’t exactly having a great day — he couldn’t get into his drama character at all, Minyoung was being a spoiled brat, worst, he ended up tricking Mark into a date with his own cousin. And now he didn’t even get to finish his healing bath in peace, just because those two naughty children of his couldn’t stand a cold shower for one day. As he was getting dressed at lightning speed, Jinyoung went over how he would scold them later, gently but sternly, umma style. Feeling pleased with himself, the boy ran to open the door with a towel still over his head.

Yeah, he would give them a piece of his mind.

As (bad) luck would have it, Mark was on the other side of the door, and Jinyoung felt the words jumbled together inside his mind. 

The two probably stared at each other for a full five minute — Jinyoung was surprised that the older had returned so early, and Mark had what he would later describe as an out-of-body experience, which stemmed from a legitimate psychological reaction under the codename WJA (short for Wet Jinyoung Alert). His mind was getting dizzy from looking into those doe eyes and the droplets of water clinging to the younger’s skin definitely did not help. Mark felt his throat getting dry. Half a month into their friendship charade, he finally had a moment of weakness.

Flashes of the evening came to his mind, and Mark was reminded of how heartbroken he was when Jinyoung left him at that restaurant.

“I’m giving you a chance to explain what happened today.” He said firmly, closing the door so they had complete privacy. Mark wasn’t angry anymore, there was only sadness in his eyes. Sure, they had agreed to be friends again, but he wanted to at least hear an excuse from the boy, something to prove Jinyoung hadn’t completely brushed aside what they once had.

Jinyoung had an internal turmoil of his own, he was too stubborn to admit his guilt. The younger turned around to avoid Mark’s eyes and continued to dry his hair with the fluffy towel, trying to act casual.

“I had to take care of something, besides, it looks like you and Minyoung hit it off pretty well the other day. Is it wrong of me for wanting to introduce my cousin to a friend?” Although the words were coming out of his own mouth, they hurt him more than he was willing to admit. It was then that Mark grabbed Jinyoung’s arm and pulled the boy around to face him again. Jinyoung audibly gulped, he had never seen the older this angry.

“Park Jinyoung, I think you’re misunderstanding something here. Yes, I’m trying to be a good hyung and a friend to you. Because that’s what you want. I don’t want to be just-a-normal-friend. I’m doing this so I can continue to stay by your side until you’re ready to forgive me. How many times do I need to repeat for you to understand? I love you, Jinyoung. You know what? You’re fucking unbelievable. You’re the most stubborn person I have ever met and everything you do drives me crazy. Yeah, I’m crazy to be so in love with you. Don’t think for a second that my feelings are shallow. Just because Minyoung looks a little like you, you think I will fall for her? I hate that you’re throwing me to another person without my permission. Does my love really mean nothing to you? Don’t give other people my number. Don’t try matchmaking on me. It hurts, so much.”

Without warning, Mark moved forward until he had Jinyoung against the wall, bracing himself with one arm on the hard surface. Jinyoung was startled by how close they were and tried to escape, but Mark quickly put up his other arm with a loud thud, trapping the boy inside his embrace.

“Do you know what I want to do to you right now, Jinyoung?” Mark said in his deep voice, which sent shivers down the boy’s spine. “I want to kiss your lips, just savoring the taste at first, then your eyes, your cute little nose, I’ll kiss you from head to toes. I want to suck and bite your skin and leave my marks all over so anyone who lays their eyes on you would know how much you’re loved. I want to strip you down, and I mean more than your clothes, until you’re free of all insecurities and restraints. I want to whisper love in your ears as I feel your heat around me. I want to cuddle with you after making love all night long and look into each other eyes for hours because we’re just two crazy, stupid people in love. If I could, I would have swallowed you up in one bite and made you mine. So the next time you think about introducing anyone to me, remember the words I’ve just said.”

The older leaned closer and closer, taking pleasure in the sight of Jinyoung flushing bright red. The boy unconsciously closed his eyes when he saw their noses were almost touching, but he didn’t turn away, as if anticipating a kiss. That was all the confirmation Mark needed. There was hope. It took all of his will to pull away. _Now is not the time_ , Mark told himself. After a few seconds, Jinyoung slowly opened his eyes, embarrassed to see the older just staring at him without making a move.

“I respected your choice, so please respect my choice to continue loving you.” Mark whispered softly in his ear before releasing the boy and walked out of the room, leaving Jinyoung to deal with his pounding heartbeats.

That night, Jinyoung kept tossing and turning on his mattress, unable to sleep. Even pressing his face into the pillow until he had trouble breathing couldn’t stop the boy from replaying Mark’s words in his mind, every details set his skin on fire. He had set the AC on the lowest temperature, but the room was still inexplicably hot. The next morning, Jinyoung was mortified to wake up and find his sheets wet and sticky. He might have touched himself a little last night, and then there was that very vivid dream he would like to forever erase from his memory.

_Stupid Park Jinyoung, just because he told you to remember those words you have to go ahead and do exactly as he said. And don’t lie, you were actually waiting for him to kiss you last night. You have zero self-control. Repeat this. Mark is just a friend to you, yup, just a friend, nothing more than a friend, a friend who wants to kiss and bite your.. okay, fuck it. You’re officially the biggest embarrassment in human history._

Since hitting his head on the wall repeatedly didn’t seem to solve anything, Jinyoung wondered if he could get away with not stepping foot out of his room today.

 

 

 

 

“What’s the deal with you and Mark? You’re avoiding him again.” It was Jaebum who crept up from behind Jinyoung this time. They were in MCountdown waiting room, preparing to go live in front of a nationwide audience. Jinyoung had been a complete mess all day. The boy had walked straight into the wall twice since they arrived at the broadcasting station, and in another obvious attempt to get away from Mark, refused to leave the restroom unless it was his turn to MC and do rehearsal.

“I can say the same for you and Youngjae.” Jinyoung wasn’t the only one who had taken refugee in the restroom, and he did not waste the opportunity to give their leader a side-eye.

“Well, don’t try to make this about me. And I asked first.” Lately, their conversation seemed to follow the same route.

“Fine, then let’s not talk about it. I can’t believe we have to hide in here like two idiots.” In any case, Jinyoung was physically incapable of opening his mouth to tell anyone about what happened, because just the thought of last night was enough to make him red to his ears. Damn it, he was thinking about what Mark had said again.

Standing next to the blushing boy, the leader was also reflecting on the events unfolding between him and Youngjae during his first night back in their room. Everything was seemingly okay at first, a shared mattress was still better than a shared couch, and Jaebum had been careful to put up a pillow between them. In spite of that, he woke up at dawn from a rather peculiar sensation on his body, and sure enough Youngjae was kissing the leader in his sleep. Jaebum hadn’t expected the boy who was half his size to be so strong, the weight on top of him made Jaebum unable to move. His first instinct was to pull away. Although the kiss didn’t feel bad, they were not in that kind of relationship anymore. He thought Youngjae would feel embarrassed to be caught redhanded, but the younger fixed him with an unwavering stare and leaned down again to place another quick peck on his lips.

“Hyung, hurry up, please fall in love with me soon.”

After repeating those yearning words a few more times, Youngjae made no move to detach himself from Jaebum and drifted back to sleep in the same position. Jaebum couldn’t sleep a wink afterward, unable to bring himself to push the younger off. Despite all logic, he was the one who stared at the ceiling with a burning red face. 

“Do you think those two also talk about us?” Jinyoung’s question brought Jaebum back to reality. “How could they look so calm after everything? Mark threw me a water bottle in the car and I actually yelped because I thought he would avoid me too.”

“What did you expect? You came up with the whole let’s-pretend-everything-is-fine-and-be-friends-again plan, he’s just keeping his promise. Youngjae flat out said he’s going to chase after me. I think I’m in a bigger mess than you are. Unless..” Jaebum purposely stretched the word.

“Unless what?”

“Unless you’re regretting your decision. Be honest, Jinyoung, have you forgiven Mark for whatever happened?”

“You know me, when I’ve made up my mind, I will stick with my decision even if it leads me to hell. Pretending to be friends and forgetting everything that happened to the four of us, that’s the only thing I can do to redeem myself. Love is like fire, so beautiful and tempting I wanted to touch it with my bare hands, and now that I got burned twice, it’s scary to even think about getting close to another source of warmth. The truth is, I’m not confident in his love for me. What if we get together and one day he realizes that I’m nothing special. You know what everyone in the company says about me, I’m not the best at anything. How long do you suppose these feelings will last? One year? Two years? Mark could have anyone he wanted, someone better than me. I should have known that it was too good to be true. I’ve learned my lesson. Being together with someone wholeheartedly takes a lot of work, and I don’t think I’m ready. I have to consider my career and take care of my parents first, love is just a big distraction and a waste of time. This is not about whether I’ve forgiven him or not, it’s something I need to work out by myself.”

“But enough about my problem.” Jinyoung placed a hand on the leader’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Im Jaebum, today I’m going to give you a few words of advice. I’m sorry for saying this, but your theory about “the one” is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard in my life. What your parents have is beautiful, but it’s one in a million, most of the time, life throws us a curve ball when it comes to love. I'm a failure at relationship myself, but at least I know you can't play by the rules. If you keep waiting for a sign to decide whether you’re in love with someone, you’ll lose them.”

 _Just like how I lost you, right?_ Jaebum couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. If only he could be the one to make Jinyoung happy. Instead, he could only stand there like an idiot as the boy told him something he should have realized ages ago. Typical Park Jinyoung, caring too much and always trying to fix other people’s problems even when he was struggling with his own pain.

“And do you know what comes after the one, hyung? The next one.” Jinyoung said, his eyes wrinkled up in the most adorkable way. The boy always made that satisfied expression when he knew he had won an argument.

“It’s almost time to go.” Jinyoung glanced at his watch. For some reason, he felt a sense of urgency. “I don’t know why but I suddenly feel like it’s our debut performance.”

“Park Jinyoung, you are a part of my youth. My brother and my partner-in-crime. That will never change.” Jaebum made his way over so they were standing next to each other, and it was like déjà vu. “Back then there were just you and me, but now we have 5 other brothers. Whatever happens, it’s us against the world. So, you’re ready to go on stage, brother?” He extended his hand.

Jinyoung beamed and took the leader’s hand.

_Time to go conquer the world._

 

 

 

 

How Jinyoung managed to finish his MC part, give the trophy to Jaebum, sing during encore, have dinner at a BBQ restaurant then head to a noraebang to celebrate while in a state of mental collapse was a complete mystery. He remembered seeing a lot of confetti, hearing their song being played again and again during the ride, and cake, yes, there was definitely a cake. Yugyeom made fun of him for something, _oh God_ , there were tears coming out of his eyes.

They won.

Their first music show trophy since debut.

They finally did it.

Jinyoung called his parents but couldn’t open his mouth so someone snatched his phone and told them the good news. The bad news was he probably cried all the way to this karaoke place, and he bet on his life that one of the younger members or Minyoung had filmed the entire thing. That clip would end up on SNS sooner or later, he just knew it.

Nothing else mattered, because their efforts had finally paid off. Years of trainings, moments of doubt and disappointment, days when he just wanted to give up, everything flashed through his mind. Surrounded by friends, Jinyoung could tell for sure that the feeling bubbling inside him was happiness. The boy held their trophy tighter, he wanted to cast all other worries aside for one night and just enjoy the moment, for tonight he felt invincible.

“And next, we have JJ Project with Bounce. Get up here Jinyoung hyung~ Our leader-nim is already waiting for you.” MC Bam called on the duo to perform their first single. “Special request for tonight’s celebration: you two have to do JJ Cross at the end!” He let out an evil laugh and cheers filled the room. Bounce was always a good song to get people hyped up. 

As soon as the music hit, Jinyoung sang and danced with all his heart. Performing was his passion, and he wanted to scream out to the world how much he loved doing this. BamBam and Yugyeom improvised a 19+ (yet silly) version of the dance, which involved lots of grinding on the floor, and caused Jinyoung to almost choke on his laughter. Jackson, having downed 2 beers, started flipping out of nowhere and yelling random phrases in both Cantonese and English. The biggest surprise of the night was Youngjae, who literally jumped on Jaebum in front of everyone and made the leader blush the brightest shade of red, but maybe that wasn’t surprising. In Youngjae’s defense, he was drunk too.

Jinyoung was having so much fun that he didn’t know Mark had been staring at him, but someone else noticed. Since she came back home after the failed date with Mark, Minyoung had her doubts. The more she thought about what happened, the more confused she got. Mark definitely had some interest in her, otherwise why would he ask her to sit down next to him? If he wasn’t interested, what could have caused him to do that? Was there something else she missed out on? The day they first met at GOT7 practice room, he was aloof and didn’t talk to anyone during break time except for her, but when they were at the restaurant, Mark was indifferent to everything she said. Although he didn’t seem to be close to Jinyoung at all, he was so quick to accept her cousin’s invitation to dinner. When Jinyoung made up an excuse to leave yet Mark still stayed, Minyoung thought he liked her enough to disregard Jinyoung’s obvious attempt to set them up. If Mark really didn’t want anything to do with her, he should get angry at them for lying and leave, but he didn’t. Everything just didn’t make sense. There had to be a missing piece to the puzzle, something that connected all the dots.

Seeing the loving look on Mark’s face as he gazed at Jinyoung intently the whole night, Minyoung realized her cousin was the missing piece. This newfound understanding hurt her pride a little, after all, it had been a while since she was this attracted to someone.

“Oppa, are you in love with Jinyoung?” Minyoung said under her breath as she sat down next to Mark. In any case, she wasn’t ready to give her dear cousin to this guy without conducting a thorough background check.

Mark, still engrossed in watching Jinyoung, was stunned by her question, but he saw no reason to lie.

“Yes, I’m in love with him. I want to wake up next to him every morning and hold his hand as we walk the streets together. There are so many people in the room, but he’s the only one I can see. That kind of love. To tell you the truth, I had hurt him, badly, so we can’t be together yet. Now is not the time, because there are things that need to be taken care of before we can be together. No matter what, I’m not giving up. You know Jinyoung, he’s too hard on himself, I want to make sure that when he’s finally ready to accept me again, he won’t have to worry about anything. I will make him happy. That’s a promise.”

The sincerity in his words tugged at Minyoung’s heartstrings. It was hard admitting defeat, but what else could she do? Besides, his confession was cute as hell. _Lucky Jinyoung._

“Mark and Minyoung are talking pretty intimately.” Jaebum whispered to Jinyoung and the boy felt his stomach churned. Those two could talk all they want, he could care less. The boy turned away from the scene and picked another song. Jinyoung was not angry, he just happened to choose a song about taking revenge on an ex-lover. Total coincidence. Stupid Mark, making him confused with his big talk yesterday but having no trouble getting friendly with Minyoung.

Jinyoung was determined to ignore both Mark and Minyoung for the night and he had been pretty successful in doing so, until it was time to go back. His cousin ran over to link arms with Jinyoung and whispered to the boy while grinning like a know-it-all.

“I think you and Mark make a nice couple, you two look good together.”

As Jinyoung stared at Minyoung with wide eyes, there was only one thought in his mind.

_His cousin has been brainwashed by Mark Tuan._

 

 

 

 

The next days were full of good news. The group was winning left and right, Jinyoung’s drama got off to a great start and his acting was highly praised, and they started getting more endorsements and CFs. GOT7 was blowing up at an unprecedented rate, which both amazed and intimidated the boys. They were right to worry, as JYP PD-nim said to them one afternoon in his office, “This is the start of everything. Your career has just begun, and it’s going to get even more extreme. Work hard.”

And work hard they did. That year, GOT7 won their first Bonsang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of first wins and Bonsangs... Outside of this fanfic, I would really love to see all the awards to be given to GOT7. If I can do it, then I would! They deserve everything! Especially after 7FOR7. They worked so hard for it. They literally gave a part of them to us, by writing, composing and producing those gems. TT
> 
> Regarding this ff: Wow, the writer did it again! I love this chapter.
> 
> About JJP, it was bittersweet when Jaeb thought, "yeah just like how I lost you right?" Whatever happens now, Jinyoung will forever be his one-who-got-away. Yes he will be in love with someone else (Youngjae!) and be happy, but there will always be that regret, albeit a little bit (or not) when he sees Park Jinyoung...because he had him, but because of indecision and stupidity, he lost him. 
> 
> About MarkJin: YESSSSSSS. Mark is steadfast in his feelings. Although he does not want to burden Jinyoung with it, and he wants to respect JY's decision of having his heart take a break, I love the fierceness of his confrontation... something like, I love you that will never change I am just waiting for the perfect oppurtunity do not mess with it. UGGGHHHH YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	18. Confessions and Other Stories

_3 years later_

“And the Best Male Lead goes to.. Park Jinyoung! Congratulations!” A montage of the drama started playing on the big screen as the two MCs announced the panel’s final decision. The audience broke out in applause for one of the most important categories of the night.

All eyes were on him.

Jinyoung was prepared for this moment. He had a speech written up, proofread and re-proofread by the worrywart Im Jaebum, the black suit proved an impeccable complement to his lean body, and his hair was styled to perfection. After constantly challenging himself through various roles during the last 3 years, Jinyoung finally received the highest recognition as a male lead. This was not his first award, but it was certainly the biggest one that he had won without his dear GOT7 members. Although his heart was racing, Jinyoung managed to walk on the stage with grace and composure. It still seemed like a wild dream, in fact, the night before the show, he had a nightmare where he raced to the stage only to find that the award went to someone else. Having heard his name loud and clear, Jinyoung actually let out a sigh of relief.

“Jinyoung ssi, I heard that today is your birthday. How do you feel about receiving this award on such a special occasion?”

“I’m thankful and honored to be here today. This has been a great year not only for me but also for my group. There’s no word to describe what I’m feeling right now. I would like to thank everyone who believe in me even though I’m still lacking in many aspects, my company, the PDs and staff for helping me from my very first project to this day, my family, GOT7, and AhGaSes, for always supporting my acting career, I will continue to try my best in the future.” 

“You are too humble. Not only did you win Best Male Lead but your group also won a Daesang award. GOT7 is definitely very popular these days, and so are you. I think everyone here would agree with me that this year you have achieved everything you could’ve possibly wanted!” The MC’s witty words prompted more cheers from the crowd.

The boy just smiled softly and gave another 90 degree bow before exiting the stage.

_No, not everything._

 

 

 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to celebrate? I mean, it’s late but still your birthday. You know the guys were really upset when you told them not to prepare anything.” The manager looked at Jinyoung through the rearview mirror and was relieved to see that the boy didn’t seem too tired despite having been on his feet the whole day, going from one show to another. Since GOT7’s first solo concert was set for the next day, they were on their way to another late night practice right after the award ended. 

“It’s already 11 PM. Besides, my birthday is not that big of a deal, tomorrow’s concert is more important.” Jinyoung replied, barely holding in a yawn. 

“Do you want me to turn off the music then? There should be enough time for you to take a nap before we reach the company.” 

“It’s fine, hyung. Leave it on. I like this song.”

“Yeah, me too. It’s hard to believe Mark wrote the lyrics, right? The LA boy has come a long way indeed. I can still remember the first time he tried his hand at making rap parts and whined about how difficult it was, and now he wrote some of the best GOT7 songs. All of you have grown in one way or another. Where are the brats who made fun of me on their first variety show, huh? It’s been a long time.” 

_How time flies._

Ever since their first Korean music show win, the boys had been working nonstop without complaining. They needed to take advantage of the momentum. There was never a moment when they weren’t busy. Jaebum had started participating in the management of the group on a more strategic level, as JYP PD-nim trusted him to make decisions regarding GOT7 promotion and future directions. Jackson made a name for himself in the entertainment industry with his variety sense and athletic skills. Mark, to everyone’s surprise, continued his streak of success as a lyricist after hitting big 3 years ago with his first individual work released under GOT7’s repackaged album. Youngjae ventured into the drama OST business and proved his worth as a singer with several hit songs. BamBam followed Nickhun sunbaenim’s footsteps to become a symbol of success for Thai idols in the harsh Korean entertainment industry, flying back and forth between his home country and Korea to attend to his busy solo schedule. Yugyeom probably had the most diverse activities out of the bunch — the maknae finally put his energy into choreographing for the team, he had frequent modeling gigs and even appeared in a popular long-running sitcom over the last year.

And then there was Jinyoung, the acclaimed actor of the group.

Despite the initial struggles, 5 years after debut, GOT7 had become one of the top groups in the industry.

They were finally successful, just the way Jinyoung wanted. He should feel happy, right?

_Don't go home tonight_

_Stay with me little more_

_Put aside all worried thoughts_

_Today what makes your life difficult?_

_First put your bag down_

_I know all your mind_

_It must have been so hard for you_

_You look worn_

_I feel bad a lot_

_You can count on me tonight_

_I will walk you home myself_

“Aren’t you tired? At least close your eyes a little.”

“I’m fine.” _If I close my eyes and let my mind wander, I would think of him again._

_Oh, baby come to me_

_Just the way feeling is_

_Whisper love_

_Don't stop darling  
_

Jinyoung turned sideways and started counting the headlights on the highway.

_Tonight I_

_Tonight we_

_Tonight just the two of us cozy_

_As it is_ **_  
_ **

 

 

 

 

 

Unlike usual, the practice room was looking dark and quiet from outside. Jinyoung had made it very clear to his friends that throwing a birthday party in the midst of concert preparation was unnecessary, but judging from what he was seeing, they must have not taken his advice. Truth be told, he was secretly pleased. Although he had wanted to save them the trouble, it was nice to know they still cared. With that thought, the boy put on his brightest smile as he walked in, and sure enough, he was greeted with birthday cheers and a huge cake, just like he had imagined. The biggest surprise was his family had travelled all the way from Jinhae to celebrate with him. Everyone important in his life was there, his mom and dad, his two sisters, his members: Jaebum, Jackson, Youngjae, BamBam, Yugyeom. Everyone was there. 

Except for Mark.

Jinyoung didn’t understand why they all suddenly stopped and stared at him. It was then that he realized he was crying. But those weren’t tears of joy. He wasn’t happy.

Because Mark wasn’t there with him.

It turned out he hadn’t been fine. All those years, Jinyoung had never been _fine_. He had tried dating other people, but no one could make him feel the way Mark did.

He kept crying. This was a perfect opportunity to let the tears out without people questioning if he was happy. Of course he had to be, they were celebrating his birthday and the big award he had just won.

When it was time to open the presents, Jinyoung felt the atmosphere in the room had gone off for some reason. To his surprise, Yugyeom was the first to stand up, followed by BamBam. He could tell the two youngest members were trying hard to keep a straight face and wondered what made them act so weird.

“Jinyoungie hyung, since it’s your birthday, we have decided to give you the best present we could think of. ”

“Yugyeom and I have been spying on you. But it’s for a good cause.” BamBam smiled sheepishly.

“This is going to take some time, so please bear with us.” The maknae pulled out a sheet of paper and they took turn reading from it. “On October 3rd, 2017, when you were on a date with Subject A, there was a crazy paparazzi who followed you and tried to take photos. Worried that the date might get caught on camera, you decided to leave early and ended up never hearing from the guy again. The paparazzi seemed to know exactly when and where your date took place and you thought it was a weird coincidence.” 

“On February 5th, 2018, you finally found the courage to go out with another person after the catastrophe last time. Your dinner date with Subject B was going so well when a fire alarm rang and the entire restaurant had to be evacuated. You were convinced that bad luck followed you everywhere, and decided to take another break from dating.” 

“On December 28th, 2018, you had been dating Subject C for over a month, but he stopped replying to your calls and texts without any explanation. Our intel indicated that someone, anxious about how well your relationship with Subject C was going, decided to take some drastic measures and scared the guy off. His exact methods were still unknown to us, but we can confirm that Subject C is still alive and well.”

“Actually, we’re not innocent in all of this. Because the three of us basically share the same living space, we were bribed to give the information we gathered about you to this person, including who you were dating, when and where you were going out on dates.” Bam scratched his head in embarrassment and turned to look at his friend, signaling something.

Yugyeom took the hint and said with a wide grin. “But we also had our own suspicions, because it seemed that every time you agreed to date someone, it would be after seeing this person accepting a phone number from his numerous admirers, or when some female idols openly said on TV that this person was their ideal type. We decided to hide this information from him even though we were practically “working” for him, because why make his life easier, right? Besides, shouldn’t you be the one to tell him that?”

“So, here’s our present for you: the truth. The crazy paparazzi, the one who rang the fire alarm, the guy who terrorized your boyfriend, and our “boss”, are one person. I would tell you his name, but I have a feeling you already know who he is.”

“This babo hyung.” Jinyoung let out a laugh and felt himself tearing up at the same time.

“Yeah, that’s something we can all agree on! He’s an idiot.” Jackson shouted from where he was sitting.

“I’m sure Mark wanted to be here with you today, I guess he got scared last minute and decided to hide somewhere. For all the boldly idiotic things he had done over the years, I’m surprised.” Jaebum smiled as he patted the boy’s back. He himself had noticed some of Mark’s antics, but hearing the younger members gave such a specific account of what really happened, the leader couldn’t help but feel a newfound respect for Mark.

“Jinyoungie, mom also has something to say.” Mom’s gentle voice startled Jinyoung, as he had briefly forgot about his parents’ presence. The boy hesitantly looked at her then snuck a quick glance at his dad, trying to guess what was on their minds.

“For the past 3 years, Mark has been visiting us in Jinhae. When he first told us about you two and what happened, we were extremely angry. Your sisters poured water on his face every chance they got, and your father even hit him.” She lightly elbowed her husband.

“I still think he deserved it for hurting my son.” His dad finally said something, and Jinyoung didn’t know whether to be mildly mortified or extremely mortified. The revelation rendered him completely speechless.

Jinyoung was reminded of the time Mark came back from holiday break with a bruise on his cheek. It turned out his dad was the cause of that. 

“We refused to let him in the house again, but he kept coming back. After a while, I took pity on him because he couldn’t even understand satoori properly and always looked so lost when we scolded him. Call it a mother’s instinct, but I could feel his sincerity, and I knew he has a place in your heart. I convinced your father to give him another chance when we came to accept that he just wouldn’t quit. You know your father, he’s not the type to easily approve of anyone.”

“That child said many things, but what got to me is this. He told me that at first, all he could think of was winning you back. As long as you accept him again, nothing else would matter. But then he realized that if you two were to be together for a long time, he needed our approval as well, because you care about us. You always worry about everyone but yourself, I think it’s time you let someone take care of you. Every time that child came back, he got a little more mature, and I acknowledged his hard work.”

“A few days ago, we met Mark’s parents. They came as a family to ask for our permission and we couldn’t say no. Jinyoung-ah, you have our blessings, the rest is up to you.” They gave him a reassuring smile.  

“He did all those things for me?” Jinyoung whispered to himself, still in shock

“Please, take him back, I can’t take any more of his sappy love songs. I want my cool bro back.” Jackson yelled again. No one could fully understand his frustration as Mark’s roommate when the LA boy was in his lovesick state. He endured 3 years of Mark singing off-key to his own songs and ranting about Jinyoung going on dates with supposed assholes, yet when Jackson told him to just go to Jinyoung and beg for forgiveness, the LA boy always repeated the same bullshit “now is not the time.” Jackson kind of understood the reason now, but seriously, he was dying from sleep deprivation.

“We get it, you’re afraid of getting hurt, but you’re not happy without him anyway. Just take a chance, hyung. Everyone here is on your side, we just want you to be happy.” Youngjae always knew what to say to make others feel better.

“So, I just go to him now? B-but I don’t even know where he is. Maybe after the concert…” Jinyoung stuttered a bit.

“No, go now! We will chase you out if we have to.” They were all looking at him expectantly.

Jinyoung let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and ran towards the door, his heart beating a mile a minute.

 

 

 

 

As soon as Jinyoung stepped foot outside, the boy questioned everything he was about to do. It was already past midnight, he was still in his stuffy suit, and the fear started to kick in again. Was the time right? Could they be together at last? He didn’t even know where to find Mark. 

Feeling discouraged, Jinyoung decided to go back to the dorm and call it a day. On the way back, he couldn’t stop thinking about what he had just been told. The memories that he was determined to bury deep inside started to resurface all at once. First meeting, first kiss, first _real_ kiss, first dance, first date. Happiness and heartbreak. Jinyoung felt like he was on top of that bungee tower looking down, holding onto the cord for dear life, unable to bring himself to take the next step. If Jinyoung wanted to, he could have easily picked up the phone to find out where Mark was. That was a lame excuse. He was a coward, an _unhappy_ coward.

The boy turned on the radio, hoping some music might put himself at ease. How wrong he was, because apparently there was only one song in the whole universe and all the stations insisted on playing it 24/7.

_Oh, baby come to me_

_Just the way feeling is_

_Whisper love_

_Don't stop darling  
_

Jinyoung hit the the wheel in frustration as he made a stop for the red light. The butterflies in his stomach just got worse, his cheeks heated to an impossible degree, even breathing became laborious.

_Oh fuck it._

The boy took out his phone and started dialing. His heart beat faster with each ring and Jinyoung was certain it stopped for a second when he finally heard Mark’s voice.

“Hyung, where are you?” _There, he said it._

“I’m on my way to the company. How can I miss your birthday party?”

“But I already left, I’m almost at our dorm, actually.” The boy bit his lips, trying hard to hide the disappointment.

“I guess our timing really sucks.” There was a slight tremble in Mark’s voice as he softly whispered those words, and Jinyoung’s heart clenched in pain.

They fell silent for a while, each waiting for the other person to speak up.

“There’s something important I need to tell you, but I can’t say it over the phone.” Jinyoung uttered each syllable with much difficulty, stuttering here and there. He already got this far, backing out would be a shame.

“How long is it until you get home?” The question came immediately, not a second wasted. Mark was no longer whispering, his voice became firm, almost overpowering.

“I’m driving, so about 10 minutes.” The boy shuddered in anticipation. Clearly he wasn’t the only one eager to have a talk.

“I’ll come back right away. Stay there. Wait for me, okay?”

With that, the older hung up before Jinyoung could say another word.

_Tonight I_

_Tonight we_

_Tonight just the two of us cozy_

_As it is_

 

 

 

 

 

Once again, Park Jinyoung was convinced of his bad luck. There was an accident on the highway and it took him almost an hour to get out of traffic. The boy cursed under his breath as he raced up the stairs, not bothering to wait for an elevator. He opened the door and rushed inside, only to find the apartment empty. Jinyoung dropped to the floor, still huffing from running too fast. Perhaps he had already missed his chance. After a few minutes, he stood up and wearily ran a hand through his now messy hair. How good it would feel right now to throw some furnitures.

Just as Jinyoung was about to leave, he heard a voice.

“Don’t turn around yet.”

Jinyoung stopped in his tracks, almost forgetting how to breath. He could hear his heart pounding inside his chest. The boy was tempted to turn around at once, wanting to see what kind of expression Mark was showing. Did they perhaps feel the same way? Jinyoung wanted to know, because he was shivering with both longing and hesitation.

“Let me come to you.” Mark sounded like he was out of breath.

Jinyoung felt the older approaching him, slowly yet surely.

_One step._

“You’ve worked hard. Congratulations on the award, Jinyoung ah. And happy birthday.”

_Two steps._

“3 years sound like a long time but I’ve come to realize it really isn’t much. I used to count the days, but then I stopped, and suddenly, here we are, 3 years later.”

_Three steps._

Jinyoung felt a weight on his shoulder as Mark hugged him from behind, strong arms enclosed him fully. He could feel the older’s breath on the nape of his neck and a warm tingle started spreading throughout his body. Jinyoung closed his eyes, taking in the moment. The two stood like that for a while, neither of them knew what to say, but not wanting to let go. It had been such a long time since they could breath in each other’s presence like this.

“I listened to your song in the car earlier.” Jinyoung turned around to face Mark, all the while willing himself not to get flustered by the older’s heated gaze. Their bodies were just a hair's breadth away.

“I wrote it for you.”

“You don’t even know which one I’m talking about.”

“All of my songs are for you.” It was the truth, and Jinyoung knew.

“My parents told me what you did. Gyeom and Bam too.” The boy kept his head down, a bit shaken by the bold confession. Jinyoung tried to find the words, he was the one who made Mark go all the way back after all, but now he was reduced to a trembling, blushing mess. If only he could be as straightforward as Mark. His fingers tugged nervously at Mark’s shirt, as if afraid the older would get tired of his inability to converse like a normal person and leave. “Really, what were you thinking? Setting off a fire alarm and such.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” It was Mark’s turn to be embarrassed.

“You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.” Jinyoung took a final deep breath before looking up.

The moment their eyes met, it was everything Jinyoung had imagined and more. Seeing himself embedded so deeply in those eyes and feeling the love radiating from Mark’s unrelenting gaze, Jinyoung caught a glimpse of their future together. There was nothing extraordinary about the kind of happiness he wanted, he didn’t care for grand romantic gestures, after all, they were not movie characters. Instead, he saw morning kisses and late night talks, silly fights, moments of unreasonable jealousy, arguments that would last a mere minute because they know the other person is more important than something as petty as pride, warm embraces, the comfort of knowing that someone would always be there when life gets hard, and oh, how fortunate, more kisses.

Mark reached for Jinyoung’s hand in one gentle movement, his eyes stuck on the boy. 

“A lot of things have changed, but my feelings for you stay the same. There were times when I felt hopeless, but I don’t want to take the easy way out anymore. So I’m saying this again, and I’ll keep saying it until you trust me with all your heart. Park Jinyoung, I love you. To me, you are the most amazing, kind, and beautiful person. With you, there’s no other option. You are the best at being you, and that’s good enough for me.”

The boy wanted to tell Mark that there was no need for words, because he already knew. Jinyoung was the talker out the two, but at that moment he couldn’t even move his mouth.

“Today, I bought an apartment with the royalties from my songs, it’s nothing much but there’s a huge bookshelf with all the Korean history books I could find. We can read them together if you want. I can make coffee and simple Korean dishes now, because honestly, Jinyoung, you’re good at a lot of things, but cooking is not one of them. I promised your parents that I would take care of you and I intend to keep that promise. Everything I’ve done during the last 3 years was to prepare for the day we can be together again. And yes, that includes sabotaging all your relationships. Sorry, but I don’t regret that part one bit.”

One by one, the revelations came out. 3 years’ worth of secrets explained in a few minutes.

“I want to be the person who shares your everything, both the good and the bad. Although I’ve done some stupid things over the years, will you accept this idiot?”

Jinyoung abruptly turned away from the older’s hopeful gaze. The boy hadn’t said anything still, and Mark felt his stomach sink.

“Hey, look at me.” As Mark tightened his hold on the boy’s hand, he noticed Jinyoung’s trembling shoulders and wondered if the dimly lit room was playing trick on his eyes.

“Jinyoung, are you crying?” He asked nervously, leaning in to get a closer look. Jinyoung was trying his best to not sob audibly, but he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring out. The boy stubbornly shook his head while rubbing his puffy eyes.

“I know this might be too sudden for you, but…”

Mark couldn’t finish the sentence, because a pair of soft lips was on his. As a rule, when the love of your life kisses you, you just have to shut up.

“You finally stopped talking.” Jinyoung pulled away for a second, gasping for air, before leaning in again and took a quick bite at Mark’s lower lip. _The little tease_. His arms found their way around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling the boy even closer.

Mark wondered how he had survived all this time without Jinyoung in his arms. From now on, he would make sure to never let go.

Their first kiss after three years tasted like the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from Jinyoung’s eyes.

Happy tears were sweet, they learned.

 

 

 

 

Mark was determined to make up for three years’ worth of kisses, and Jinyoung gladly complied. The last time they snuck into Jinyoung’s room like this, both of them didn’t know how they truly felt about the other. The door clicked shut, and soon Jinyoung reveled in the warmth of Mark’s body on top of him. They were still kissing as if their lives depended on it. To Jinyoung, the confirmation of their relationship was more effective than any kind of alcohol. He was burning with need, which made it extremely frustrating for the boy when Mark stopped his hands from unzipping their pants. Jinyoung could tell Mark was just as aroused and looked at the older in confusion. 

“I want you so bad right now, but the concert is tomorrow so we can’t do anything more than kissing.” Mark patted Jinyoung’s cute butt and pulled him into another kiss.

“Since when are you the responsible one?” Jinyoung whined. The tables had been turned, so it seemed.

“Park Jinyoung, you should be glad I’m going easy on you. After the tour, we’ll have a 2-day break, and I’m not letting you out of this room then.” Mark let out strained grunt, he was having a hard time controlling himself as well. It was not easy to say no, especially now that Jinyoung was all his.

That finally succeeded in shutting the boy up. Jinyoung huffed and pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn’t suppress a smile while snuggling closer to his lover.

 

 

 

 

  

“Hyung, where were you earlier? I thought I came back too late.”

“The highway was closed because of an accident so I left my car at some random parking lot and took the subway. I ended up running for 20 minutes because there was no stop near our place.”

“You know, we were stuck in the same traffic.” 

“How can you laugh about that? I almost fainted from running.”

“I just think we have perfect timing after all.”

“Jinyoung, I love you.”

“I know.”

Mark held his breath. He might have prayed a little inside.

“I love you too.”

Jinyoung’s lips found Mark’s again.

 _This was worth the wait._ Mark thougth to himself as he smiled into the kiss.

Jinyoung was worth the wait.

 

 

 

 

 

_“_ _Mark,_ _I raised no coward. If you really love him, even after you have hurt him so much, you have to do whatever it takes to get him back. From now on, you have to be firm, promise yourself that everything you do is to serve that purpose, and that you won’t give up no matter how long it would take.”_

_“Dad, I don’t know where to start.”_

_“What is it that he wants?”_

_“He wants us to be the top group.”_

_“Then there's your first step.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is still a last chapter! Hang on! :*


	19. The Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyable chapter!!!! After all the angst man, yes this is what we need LOL

"Hm, you’re walking fine.” Youngjae’s voice pulled him out of deep thoughts. 

Jinyoung slightly tilted his head, not quite grasping what the younger meant. Although it was the first day of their Seoul concert and the jitters were getting to his stomach, Jinyoung found no reason to skip his morning coffee. He was standing at his favorite spot in the living room, looking out the big window. It had become sort of a place for private conversation within the group, but usually Jaebum would be the one to approach Jinyoung with his random comments. 

“We all saw Mark hyung coming out of your room so we figure the two of you must have made up last night. I’m just surprised you’re not limping, you know, an extended period of abstinence can do things to a man.” Youngjae gave a light shrug as he explained his previous statement. There was a glint of amusement in his eyes, but other than that the younger was doing an excellent job of keeping a straight face.

Jinyoung choked on his coffee.

“Youngjae, what has Im Jaebum done to you? I’m gonna need to have a serious talk with him about this.” Jinyoung’s inner umma persona was showing again, but this was more of an attempt to cover up his own embarrassment than anything. 

“Relax, hyung, you’re not our umma anymore, and I’m not actually-an-angel Youngjae, yes, I know you guys gave me a nickname.” Youngjae had burst out laughing at this point. “Not that there’s anything wrong with the old me, I’ve just, well, evolved. And we should have relieved you of your umma duties a long time ago, it must have been hard on you. How did you endure Jaebum hyung through JJ Project all by yourself? He can be such a pain sometimes. The other day, I had to personally smack him on the head to knock some sense into him. You should have seen his shocked face. Well, I wouldn’t have to do that if he wasn’t being so paranoid about his solo performance today. I was like, _you’re not going to rip your pants because of that choreography, hyung, and if it happens, just take them off like a man and pretend that’s part of the plan!_ ”

Jinyoung would have been much more convinced of his frustration with their leader had Youngjae not smiled through the whole rant, but he was willing to bet the younger didn’t even realize that himself.

“If it were me, I would probably freak out along with him. Jaebum is lucky to have you. ”

“What’s the point? He doesn’t love me.” Youngjae went silent, and Jinyoung awkwardly turned back to drinking his coffee.

“You know, hyung, the last time I asked him if he’s still in love with you and he said no, I thought he was going to ask me to be his boyfriend, but it has been a year already and yet, nothing.” The younger sighed.

“If he had asked you right then, I don’t think you would have been happy either.”

“You’re right. I’m just running out of patience, that’s all.”

“Give him a little more time. As his friend, I would hate to see him miss out on you. Jaebum and I are wired the same way, we need someone in life to tell us it’s okay to make mistakes, like ripping our pants off on stage. ”

They shared a brief look of mutual understanding, both grinning and cringing at the mental image of Jaebum dancing in his underwear in front of thousands of fans. Although Jinyoung was relieved to see Youngjae smiling again, he knew the younger was probably still hurting inside, but there was nothing he could do to help. In the end, it was still up to Jaebum, and that man had always been awfully slow at recognizing his own feelings.

“But seriously, hyung, you two didn’t do it last night?”

Youngjae dropped another bomb, and Jinyoung wondered why he was even feeling sorry for this brat. He kind of missed actually-an-angel Youngjae, who never had this much interest in sex. Good times, good times indeed.

“We decided to wait until after the tour.” Jinyoung took another sip of coffee to hide his reddening face.

“Ohhhhhh, that explains why Mark hyung circled the 24th with red ink on the calendar.” Youngjae purposely stretched his words, trying hard to stifle a laugh. The little devil.

“He did what?”

Jinyoung choked on his coffee, again.

 

 

 

 

 

“What did you mean by that?” Youngjae asked, his voice slightly shaking. There was a numbing sensation running through his body, and he had to lean on the wall for support. He supposed part of it was fatigue, because they had just finished a two-hour long concert with a whole lot of dancing, singing, screaming, laughing, and crying along with the fans who stayed by their side for the last 5 years. On top of that, Im Jaebum had to mess with his mind. 

_“Shall we ask our lucky fan which one of us is her favorite member?” MC Bam directed everyone’s attention to the fan who won the online ticket draw and was invited to the stage. All seven members were showing their charms in hopes of being chosen, Jackson even took off his jacket and started doing one arm pushups._

_“Youngjae is my man!”_

_It probably took the girl all her courage to shout the answer while being surrounded by her idols. She shyly covered her face afterwards, unable to look up. Jackson feigned childish jealously and pretended to leave the stage, prompting laughter from his members and the fans. Youngjae walked around with his hands up in the air like he was the king of the world._

_“Sorry, but Youngjae is mine.” Jaebum’s loud, deep voice cut through the air, and the whole stadium erupted in deafening screams._

_Youngjae turned to the leader, and there he was, looking right back at the wide-eyed boy._

Even now, the staring battle was still going strong in the middle of the kitchen. The other members were thoughtful enough to hide in their rooms, well, Yugyeom definitely had one ear up against the door, but for the most part, Youngjae and Jaebum were left to deal with their unsettled feelings in private.

“I meant what the words mean.”

When Jaebum finally opened his mouth, Youngjae didn’t know whether to be happy or mad. That answer was classic Im Jaebum, and even though Youngjae had said again and again that he loved Jaebum and all his bullshit, he wanted to smack the older on the head right that very moment.

So maybe he was indeed mad.

But mostly, he was happy.

“Yah, Im Jaebum, after all these years and that’s all you have to say? Now I don’t even know if I want to be with you anymore!” Youngjae raised his voice in feigned anger, which was not very convincing judging from the slightly turned up corners of his mouth.

“Don’t be mad, I’ll take you out for chicken galbi.” Jaebum smiled and gently took hold of the younger’s hand.

“I want premium beef.” Nay, he deserved it.

Youngjae let himself be led out the door and onto the streets. It was already late, the cool winds made him sniffle a little, and he had to let go of Jaebum’s hand because there were still people around. Youngjae was reminded of all the times he had walked behind Jaebum like this, purposely keeping a small distance between the two. He was no longer the same Youngjae when they first met, he wasn’t that shy, timid boy anymore, but the one thing Youngjae had never been able to do in the past 3 years was closing that distance to touch the older man’s back.

“Hyung, if a fan says “JB is my man”, what will you tell them this time?” He asked, grabbing Jaebum’s jacket from the back in one swift movement.

“I’ll say that I belong to Youngjae.” Jaebum answered without a pause this time, and Youngjae let out the most genuine smile he had had in years. The man didn’t turned around, but somehow Youngjae knew he was smiling too.

“Say it again. I want to hear it again.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

“Why are you so stingy? I’m not even asking you to tell me you love me. Stupid Im Jaebum.” The boy grumbled and threw a less-than-gentle punch at Jaebum’s back. _Baby steps, Youngjae, baby steps._ He told himself.

“Because what I really want to say is I love you.”

Basically, Youngjae stood no chance of winning.

_“Wait, hyung, say that again, I didn’t hear clearly.”_

_“Seriously, I couldn’t catch what you said.”_

_“Hyung… Just say it one more time.”_

_“Yah, Im Jaebum! You jerk! I’m going to order the most expensive meal and spend all your money. We’ll see if you can still laugh then.”_

 

 

 

 

“So… Today is the 24th.” 

Jinyoung gulped at the unabashed lust in Mark’s voice.

“I told you, I’m not holding back.” Mark said, it was a promise he intended to keep, and he made good of his words, wasting no time to push Jinyoung against the bedroom wall and into a heated kiss. He had always thought Jinyoung’s lips should be illegal — so plump and soft and sinfully delicious to the point Mark would sometimes imagine those lips wrapped around something else of his. Perhaps in due time. His hands slid under Jinyoung’s shirt, gently kneading the skin underneath, almost too eager to map the boy’s body. On second thought, everything about Park Jinyoung should be illegal.

_3 fucking years._

In the back of his mind, Jinyoung was still faintly aware that this was a bad idea. The other members were outside chatting happily, he could even hear Jackson’s ridiculous laugh. His bedroom door wasn’t locked, and for all he knew, Yugyeom or Bam could come in any minute now asking for their umma.

“Want you.” Mark whispered hoarsely, clutching Jinyoung’s waist even more tightly and taking a teasing bite at the younger’s bottom lip. It was then that Jinyoung decided that nothing could possibly be more important than the feeling of Mark’s mouth crushed against his own, or Mark’s leg pressing between his thighs.

Come to think about, he supposed everyone already knew, because Mark had been courteous enough to put a fucking note on their calendar.

And seriously, how did Mark even manage to take his shirt off already? Jinyoung scowled a little and yanked impatiently at the older’s shirt, determining to make the nakedness mutual.

By some miracle the two made it to Jinyoung’s tiny mattress while trying to undress each other without crashing into the furnitures. It was miraculous indeed, considering their lips never once parted and both were too far gone to care where their tangling legs were taking them. Jinyoung was a panting mess, too out of breath to do anything other than burying his hands in the soft hair at the nape of Mark’s neck and furiously kissing him back. He could feel the hard line of Mark’s arousal rubbing against his body through the fabrics, which reminded him that pants were overrated and should be get rid of immediately. As if reading the younger’s mind, Mark pulled his briefs down along with the pants and promptly reached for the curve of Jinyoung’s ass, squeezing hard enough to bruise. Mark scrambled for the lube in the pocket of his recently discarded pants and upon finding it, coated his fingers with a generous amount. Jinyoung spread his legs further, letting Mark settle in between, his whole body shivering with anticipation for what to come.

“Do have any idea how much I’ve been wanting to do this?” Mark said huskily, planting tiny open-mouthed kisses down Jinyoung’s neck and collarbone. His fingers brushed teasingly at the entrance before before pushing in, bit by bit, and Jinyoung’s breath hitched at the intimacy of the touch. “Watching you prancing around the apartment in your PJs after late night showers, those pants stuck to your pert little ass like a second skin and then there’s that almost transparent black top you love to wear so much. Don’t even get me started on all the time you randomly decided to dance to Bounce because there’s a reason the song is called Bounce. Do you know how hard it was for me to stop myself from staring? Because I swear, you make me lose my fucking mind.”

“Then do something about it, hyung.” Jinyoung was breathless and frustrated, sprawling out on the mattress with his bare legs stretched out. Mark groaned at the sight of slightly parted lips and the implication of Jinyoung’s words.

When Mark finally slid in, it hurt a little, but Jinyoung found himself smiling.

For he was happy.

He was simply just that happy.

Mark didn’t miss the smile blooming on Jinyoung’s face, and he knew what Jinyoung was thinking, because he was thinking the same thing.

There was no need to spell it out when they both knew, so Mark went in for another kiss instead.

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s been a day and they’re not even stepping foot out of that room. Shouldn’t you do something, hyung?” Youngjae asked, mostly out of concern, but he also found the whole thing funny. _Way to go, Mark hyung._

“What am I supposed to do? Go in and check if they’re still alive?” Jaebum’s scowl deepened. His leadership workshop didn’t exactly have a guideline on how to delicately deal with one-of-a-kind situation like this.

“Yugyeom and I can’t even use our room…” BamBam wailed from his temporary refuge — the couch. They had wanted to go in last night but were stopped dead in their tracks by certain noises. It was a traumatizing experience for the young boys. 

“Hey, who ordered delivery?” Yugyeom shouted from the front door after paying for a whole bunch of fried chicken he definitely did not order.

The door that had remained closed for a day opened all of a sudden.

“That’s ours.” Mark came out with only a Molang bunny blanket wrapped around his waist, took the chicken off Yugyeom’s hands, and was back inside in less than 2 minutes, completely ignoring the stares thrown his way.

_Well, he did put a note on the calendar._


	20. Together, Always.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last.

“AhGaSe! We did it, it’s our 10th anniversary concert!” Mark shouted from the main stage, his eyes slightly glistened despite trying hard not to get emotional at the sight of their fans holding up support banners and creating a beautiful ocean of lights. They were finishing the last leg of the concert, and it was finally his turn to speak.

“To be honest, when manager hyung said we should prepare thank-you letters like we did in our first variety show 10 years ago and read them at the concert, I was worried. Well, one of the reasons is I’m not the most entertaining person in the world so my letter will be boring.” Laughter started to erupt from the audience, some fans even shouted words of encouragement from the distance. “Although it may be so, please know that I’m speaking from the bottom of my heart.” Mark continued, placing a hand on his left chest. 

“Our AhGaSe, who have always been with us for 10 years, are all grown up now. Should I say we have been growing together? I’m so thankful for each and everyone of you. Truly, thank you. When I was writing these words, I kept going back and forth, wondering if I’ve made the right decision, but AhGaSe is such an important part of my life that I want to share this moment with all of you. First, I’d like to ask everyone to turn off your light sticks.”

It took no time for the fans to comply although they did not understand the reason behind Mark’s request, and soon the only source of light was coming from the main stage.

Mark took a deep breath.

“To Junior, our team's shadow. The last time we wrote letter to each other like this, I said that I would teach you English so you can go to Hollywood and become a great actor. AhGaSe, you know that our actor Park Jinyoung is advancing to Hollywood right? After the concert, he will go to the US for 5 months to shoot a movie. We’re so proud of you, Jinyoungie.”

His words were met with loud cheers from fans and the other members. Jinyoung grinned from ear to ear and made his way over to engulf Mark in a hug, taking this chance to whisper a quick “I love you” into the man’s ears.

“You may not know this, but I personally chose the message on today’s support banner. Together, always. That’s my wish for GOT7 and AhGaSe, for our 7 members.”

Mark looked straight into Jinyoung’s eyes as if there were only the two of them in the stadium and took the younger man’s hand into his.

“And it’s also my wish for you and I, Jinyoung ah.”

Jinyoung flinched a little upon realizing what Mark had just done, but he did not let go. He couldn’t let go of those hands anyway, not after everything they had been through together. Jinyoung stared wide-eyed at his boyfriend. His brain was urging his mouth to move, to make up some excuses, to deny the trouble that was sure to come their way if the world knew of this relationship, but Jinyoung was at a loss for words.

No, he could never let go.

There was confusion all around, some fans turned sideways to ask each other what was going on, others waited for an explanation with a look of disbelief on their faces. The other GOT7 members glanced worriedly at each other, not knowing what to do in this situation.

“We’re here at the 10th year mark, and my heart hasn’t changed. My love for you only grows stronger each day, it’s time I say this out loud for the whole world to know.” Mark’s voice never faltered as he tightened the hold on their intertwined fingers.

The stadium was in an uproar.

The scene played out in slow motion in front of Jinyoung’s eyes then everything flashed to black, every sound seemed muted somehow, and he felt trouble breathing, like he was in a vacuum. His mind was a whirlwind, his heart a throbbing mess. Jinyoung shut his eyes tightly for a second and when he opened them again, he saw Mark. Only him, no one else. The older man was patiently waiting for him, like he had always been.

Jinyoung knew what he had to do.

“The truth is, Mark and I have been together for 5 years. Our AhGaSe must be in shock right now, and a lot of you may not be able to accept our relationship. I’m sorry if I have disappointed you, but I will never regret falling in love with him.” He clutched at Mark’s hand like a lifeline, wanting all the courage he could get. 

Mark was still for a moment, then a smile bloomed across his handsome face.

Dear God, how should Jinyoung describe the way his man was smiling at him?

There was a hint of relief, a touch of pride, but above all, pure happiness.

And once again Jinyoung was reminded of just how loved he was, and how deeply he loved.

_This man of mine, the love of my life, my present and my future._

“If even just one of you can give us your blessing, please turn your light stick back on.” Mark spoke into the mic, his voice trembled slightly. This was it. The moment of truth.

The previous commotion turned into silence. Jinyoung thought the silence would last forever, and this would go down in history as the most disastrous concert ending of all time, but he was wrong.

It started with one fan, then another, and another.

Soon, all of them were chanting together.

_“It’s okay! Be happy!”_

_“It’s okay! Be happy!”_

The fans turned on their light stick one by one, and the whole stadium lit up. It was the most amazing view Jinyoung had ever seen in his life, he felt as though his heart was going to burst from happiness. Mark and Jinyoung looked over to the other members, wanting to see their reactions. Jaebum and Youngjae smiled broadly at them although the shock hadn’t left their faces completely, Jackson and the maknae duo, what else to expect, those three had already started jumping up and down with glee and chanting with the fans.

Not so bad for a concert ending, eh?

But Mark didn’t stop there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Park Jinyoung, will you marry me?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Love has so many possibilities. Whether you make a mistake or you are too stubborn to accept your own feelings and end up hurting someone you love, as long as you don't give up and put in the effort, you'll be rewarded in the end. Love cannot be born in an instant, love needs, well, love. Take care of your love, water it like you would a plant, never stop finding a reason to care for your special someone each day. Love needs effort. Love needs time. Love is not a theory, love is practice. There are no set rules in love, you just need to have courage. Thank you for keep on loving me, your love gives me courage.”

The crowd watched him intently. They all seemed to be waiting for something, but Jinyoung had no idea what.

Mark looked like he was smacked in the face with a baseball bat.

Jackson gestured wildly with his fingers, mouthing something to a bemused Jinyoung.

“Oh yeah, I have to say it to make it official right?” Jinyoung snapped his fingers in realization.

“I do.” He finally uttered the words his family and friends were all waiting for.  

The smile forming on Mark’s face was nothing less of contentment, and he pulled Jinyoung into a deep kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

“You know, most people just say ‘I do’.” 

“I’m not most people, and your hand is on my butt again.” 

“I thought we're done with this discussion already. You're mine now, I'm just marking my territory.”

“I’m over the moon that so many people support us, but when I checked the news this morning, how come the most upvoted comment is ‘Mark Tuan is seriously good looking’?”

“Aren't you supposed to be happy that your hubby is this good looking? Anyway, who cares what they say? For all I know, I’m the one lucky enough to be married to you. My Jinyoung is the best.”

“Stop it, you’re embarrassing!”

“I’m just being honest.”

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask but never have the chance. How did you convince Yugyeom and Bam Bam to spy on me?”

“Not to brag but I have an unlimited supply of female and some male idols phone numbers.”

“Remind me to look at our marriage certificate later, I need to check if there's a clause or fine print to get me out of this.”

“Sorry love, the part where you bound yourself to me for life is non-negotiable.”

Truth be told, Jinyoung wouldn’t want it any other way, especially when Mark was kissing him like this.

_So this is the type of intoxicating happiness that people always talk about._

 

 

 

 

 

“Okay guys, we have a plane to catch soon. Our new album isn’t going to make itself.” Jaebum gathered everyone in a big hug after the wedding ceremony. Seemed like it was yesterday when they debuted.

 

_Changes are inevitable, so the people who stay are the ones who matter most._

 

Despite everything, the seven of them shared the wildest moments of their youth. Good times and bad times.

10 years, 20 years, 30 years…

 

Together, always.

 

 

 

 

**_End._ **

**_Nov 29, 2015._ **

_[by: **sheeahh** \- link to her AFF account: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1000355/men-of-mine-angst-romance-jjproject-2jae-got7-markjin]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. There you go.   
> One of my most favourite MarkJin/JJP fanfic ever!  
> Mostly because of the storyline... And how the story was delivered...  
> And I love Jinyoung's character in here.   
> So flawed, yet so relatable. No, I guess it was because of his flaws that he became very relatable.  
> I love Mark and Jaebum's characters as well. So, well-rounded.  
> And I love how they all grew together and grew individually because and amidst all the drama!  
> Again, as you can obviously see, I am in love with this story.
> 
> That was why I checked on the author if she has an AO3 account and she said no  
> So I asked if she's okay if I post her story here since I have an account so that more shippers can read it  
> And she fortunately said yes!! Weeee  
> So this one is for you guys ~  
> All MarkJin x JJProject shippers hehehe  
> I hope you all liked it too like I very much did ^^
> 
> Let's thank SHEEAHH for creating this and sharing with us. :D

**Author's Note:**

> If you have been reading MarkJin or JJP FFs in AFF before this, I'll bet that you have read this story and may even have wrote comments on it (just like me). This work is by SHEEAHH (from AFF), not mine. But I asked her if it's ok for me to post this is AO3 because I know of MarkJin and JJP shippers who doesn't go to AFF. Aaaand this is really a GOOD STORY. It made me laugh, cry, etc. I don't want my fellow shippers to miss out on it! Don't worry though, we have exchanged e-mails. She approved of the idea. Again, to everyone who will read it the first time here, and for those who wants to read it again, this is WRITTEN BY "SHEEAHH" OF AsianFanFics. I do not own this. 
> 
> ENJOY!


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